Once Upon a Crime...

Julian Peters:
Would you excuse me, I'm being kicked off this train; I'd like to ask the conductor to slow it down.

Neil Schwary:
No, are you Swedish?

Neil Schwary:
I know you hate Americans, but just remember if it wasn't for us, you'd be speaking German right now.

Marilyn Schwary:
Two thousand francs?

Hercules Popodopoulos:
I'm sorry, is the amount not adequate?

Marilyn Schwary:
What, are you planning on bringing friends? Listen mister, maybe this is what hookers look like in Greece, but I'm no hooker, I'm a housewife. We do it for free!

Hercules Popodopoulos:
Madame, I admire your insouciance.

Marilyn Schwary:
Well, it's the dress; it shows everything.

Neil Schwary:
What do I have to do to get a drink in this place, fart the French national anthem?

Phoebe:
My birth control pills!

Julian Peters:
I never thought I should say this, but there is a time and and place.

Phoebe:
There're in my suitecase that I left back at the villa!

Julian Peters:
So?

Phoebe:
My name's on the prescription label!

Julian Peters:
You've got a problem.

Phoebe:
We have to go back.

Julian Peters:
What? Are you insane? The police are probally swarming the place by now!

Phoebe:
If the police are there, we'll leave. If not, we have to get my suitcase back.

Julian Peters:
What about the killer?

Phoebe:
Do you think the killer is just going to hang around the scene of the crime all night?

Julian Peters:
I don't know. I don't know what his social life is like.

Augie Morosco:
I'm rolling like a hunchback doing somersaults!

Augie Morosco:
But first I must find the little boys' room.

Neil Schwary:
And lose precious time? Waiter, bring this man a cup.

Neil Schwary:
So, if you're not a gambler anymore, how come your on this train to Monte Carlo?

Augie Morosco:
My wife is there on holiday. She helped me get back into the business. Extremely wealthy.

Neil Schwary:
Oh, I see. You married for money.

Augie Morosco:
I did not marry for money. I married for lots of money!

Julian Peters:
Let's call a truce what do you say?

Julian Peters:
Okay, how's this for an idea. After we get the reward money, I'll take you back here. Well have a nice moonlight dinner, a little champagne...

Phoebe:
Look, Julian, don't waste my time. There is absolutely no chance I'd get involved with you. This is a business deal. Let's stick to business. Okay?

Julian Peters:
Who said anything about getting involved? Lady, I'm on the ropes and the last thing I need is to be seen walking around with a lady wearing tights who should know better.

Phoebe:
Do you ever shut up?

Julian Peters:
Ooo, what a wit!

Alfonso de la Pena:
Ah, the dog. One of life's truely misunderstood creatures. To whom no man is truly worthly.

Alfonso de la Pena:
It's what I do.