James Joyce:
This is never an eight iron. It's a fucking FIVE!

James Joyce:
Do you think I'm fecking blind? Giving me a five, and I the cock of the land! You are no more than nothing. And give us a pencil as well... and a couple of those tees... and a Topic. No, not a Milky Way you arse, a Topic! All fecund in its nuttiness.