Real Men 
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Nick: You've got a sense of humor Bob... I like that in a man.
Bob: What do you like in a woman?
Nick: Big tits.
Nick: We're as safe here as we are anywhere.
Bob: How safe is that?
Nick: Oh, not very.
Bob: They're gonna shoot at us, aren't they?
Nick: Probably, Bob. It's what they brought the guns for.
Bob: What are they trying to do?
Nick: They're trying to kill me. They know I can't afford a loss like that.
Bob: I didn't know you smoked.
Nick: Just after sex, Bob. I'm trying to give it up.
Bob: Well, at least you don't smoke that much.
Nick: About a pack a day.
Bob: That'll kill ya!
Nick: Bob, it won't kill ya. But it will make you very sore.
Bob: Who Are Those Clowns?
Bob: They're destroying my ducks!
Nick: Will you look at the tits on this guy?
Bob: You're kidding! What idiots think up something like that?
Nick: I dunno Bob, I think there's a special department of idiots in the White House who do that.