Professor:
Miss Ainsworth, turn off your macho!

Dean:
We're expanding. This will be the biggest university on the west coast.

Professor:
But we're on the east coast.

Dean:
That's how big I want it to be.

Mary Ann:
He didn't mean any harm, Skipper.

Skipper:
Neither did the ice berg that sunk the Titanic.

Mr. Howell:
Captain, can you give me one good reason why you haven't put up the sail?

Skipper:
Yes, Mr. Howell, we haven't got a sail.

Mr. Howell:
Can you give me another good reason?

Skipper:
I can't believe it. After 15 years, we're finally rescued.

Mr. Howell:
Rescued.

Mrs. Howell:
Rescued.

Ginger Grant:
Rescued.

Mary Ann:
Rescued.

Professor:
Rescued.

Gilligan:
Rescued.

Skipper:
Only question is, will it have enough bottom?

Gilligan:
If that's the question, Skipper, you sure got the answer.

Gilligan:
Hey Skipper, why don't you donate your pants? When they fill with air, we can fly to Hawaii.

Skipper:
What could be stupider than varnishing the seat of a chair?

Gilligan:
Sitting in the seat of a chair that's just been varnished.