Rescue from Gilligan's Island 
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Professor: Miss Ainsworth, turn off your macho!
Dean: We're expanding. This will be the biggest university on the west coast.
Professor: But we're on the east coast.
Dean: That's how big I want it to be.
Mary Ann: He didn't mean any harm, Skipper.
Skipper: Neither did the ice berg that sunk the Titanic.
Mr. Howell: Captain, can you give me one good reason why you haven't put up the sail?
Skipper: Yes, Mr. Howell, we haven't got a sail.
Mr. Howell: Can you give me another good reason?
Skipper: I can't believe it. After 15 years, we're finally rescued.
Mr. Howell: Rescued.
Mrs. Howell: Rescued.
Ginger Grant: Rescued.
Mary Ann: Rescued.
Skipper: Only question is, will it have enough bottom?
Gilligan: If that's the question, Skipper, you sure got the answer.
Gilligan: Hey Skipper, why don't you donate your pants? When they fill with air, we can fly to Hawaii.
Skipper: What could be stupider than varnishing the seat of a chair?
Gilligan: Sitting in the seat of a chair that's just been varnished.