Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In Pilot Special [1967]
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Jo Anne Worley: Of course, working as Twiggy is easier than my old job. I used to be a topless waiter.
Dan Rowan: I'll drink to that.
Barbara Feldon: I have nothing against Hugh Hefner personally. It's just that I object to anyone building an empire based on the moral standards of a rabbit.
Monte Landis: The trouble with people today is that they forgot how to communicate.
Jo Anne Worley: Boris and I met at a peace rally but then he attacked me.
Dan Rowan: What do you know about pills?
Dan Rowan: I had an iron deficiency.
Dan Rowan: You had and iron deficiency?
Dan Rowan: I had to take iron shots.
Dan Rowan: How did work?
Dan Rowan: Pretty good. I can do anything I want as long as I'm facing the north pole.
Arte Johnson: I actually don't waitor. Really I'm a campain-button-pusher. Before that I used to be a bumper-sticker-licker.
Barbara Feldon: I took a speed reading corse and read War and Peace in 20 minutes. I think It's about Russia.
Barbara Feldon: If the Vietnamese don't like the way we're handling things other there, why don't they go back where they came from?
Monte Landis: I just down on my driving and drink more carefully.
Barbara Feldon: That's what I always say. A smile's just a frown turned upside down.
Arte Johnson: Or was it my 7th son from my 9th wife?
Monte Landis: I difference between sex and love is just a matter of semantics.
Jo Anne Worley: I didn't realise Boris was that non-violent until he borrowed my psycadelic earrings.
Jo Anne Worley: In my opinion the Soviet Union is just a communist front.
Dan Rowan: You still don't know anything about pills.
Dan Rowan: I have a friend who does.
Dan Rowan: Who?
Dan Rowan: Kermit. He takes pep-pills to get up in the morning and takes tranquilizers to go to sleep. Everday in his life is just pills, pills, pills.
Dan Rowan: Have they worked?
Dan Rowan: No he's pregnant.