S.W.A.T.

Hondo:
You know what they say, you're either SWAT or you're not.

Street:
So why'd you pick me?

Hondo:
To piss off the captain.

Hondo:
You wanna join S.W.A.T?

Chris:
No. I just like applying all the time.

Gamble:
F*** you and S.W.A.T.

McCabe:
No rolls?

Hondo:
You only roll in John Woo movies, not real life.

McCabe:
What? No roll, Hondo?

Hondo:
How do you know I didn't?

McCabe:
You didn't, did you?

Hondo:
They only roll in John Woo movies, not in real life.

Capt. Thomas Fuller:
Sanchez is a woman and Street, well he's on my sh*t list

Hondo:
Hey! I'm on your sh*t list too and I'm the team captain.

Polish Hostage:
It's the damn robot aliens.

Hondo:
Shame you're not playing a terrorist.

Chris:
You wanna come to my house?

Street:
That was easy.

Chris:
My kid's having a birthday party tomorrow.

McCabe:
This was supposed to be simple snatch and extract.

Brian Gamble:
Boxer was a threat, T.J.

McCabe:
Boxer was my friend!

Brian Gamble:
He was mine too.

Alex Montel:
Stop crying. You can buy new friends.

McCabe:
Don't give me any more reason to kill you.

Alex Montel:
What are going to do, shoot me? You should relax a little bit my friend. I'm the money here. Don't forget it.

Brian Gamble:
We don'thave time for this. Look, you can go ahead. I know this sucks. Let's worry about it in paradise, all right?

Hondo:
Here's where watching 'The World's Most Exciting Police Chases' pays off.

Boxer:
Your mother likes it.

Street:
So does your sister.

Hondo:
The reason we're gathered here on our God-given, much-needed day of rest is that we have a Polish hostage.

Deke:
So what if he's Polish?

Hondo:
No, no. Means he's one of those: "Anyone comes in, I'll blow my head off" type of guys.

Hondo:
You know what? I think he might be Polish.

Deke:
Unbelievable.

Hondo:
Let's try to get in the killing mode.

Chris:
I am in killing mode.

Hondo:
So why you smiling?

Chris:
Because it tickles me.

Velasquez:
SWAT stands for Special Weapons And Tactics. Where were your tactics out there?

Gamble:
I saved a hostage from getting shot.

Chris Sanchez:
Just because you bought me a drink, doesn't mean you're getting layed tonight.

Street:
So, what does two drinks mean?

Gamble:
So this is what it's come down to, bustin' down doors with J-Lo?

Deke:
Tell daddy how you want it.

Street:
I treat my body like an amusement park.

Brian Gamble:
You know, I didn't know that they made bulletproof bras. Is it just me? But you know, I didn't know that.

Chris Sanchez:
What they need to make are bulletproof condoms big enough to fit your big head.

Deke:
Ain't that a b*tch?

Street:
A cold hard one.

Hondo:
Technically, our watch has been over for 12 hours.

Street:
So?

Hondo:
Yeah. What the hell. Mount up.

Hondo:
You look like you need a Band-Aid.

Street:
Somebody else needs a body bag downstairs.

Alex Montel:
What do you make, $66,000 a year?

Street:
Not even with overtime.

Alex Montel:
Ha, loser.

Street:
Bad day, huh?

Beat-up Latino Thug:
Kiss my ass, essay.

Street:
Gamble, let her go!

Gamble:
Take a shot, Jimbo!

Alex Montel:
American Greed.

Street:
Shut up.

Alex Montel:
So reliable.

Street:
Shut Up! Another officer dead because you shot your mouth off.

Alex Montel:
That's how I like cops - dead.

Street:
You wanna join him? Huh?

Street:
Another two officers are dead because you shot your mouth off.

Alex Montel:
That's how I like cops. Dead. Besides, you should be thanking me. Their deaths will probably get you ten new recruits.

Street:
Yeah, you're right. Boxer, thank him for me will you?

Boxer:
Gladly.

[Brian Gamble and Jim Street argue over the aftermath of the bank robbery that has threatened to get them dismissed from service]

Brian Gamble:
Terrible day, I need a cocktail.

Jim Street:
I'm staying.

Gamble:
[In disbelief] You're what? After that?

Street:
In time, Fuller will have some new asses to chew on, and he'll put us back on the team.

Gamble:
Fuller, is a cop pincher in this department, brother and he's never gonna give us a second chance.

Street:
So, what are you gonna do, piss away the hard work you did to get here?

Gamble:
Piss WHAT away, Jimmy? The cage? C'mon man, we're better than that and you know it. Wanna join me? Oh, I guess that a real partner wouldn't have to ask that would he?

Street:
A real partner would stood up for what he did at the bank.

Gamble:
I saved that hostage.

Street:
You disobeyed the hold.

Gamble:
No. I saved that hostage.

Street:
[shouts] You disobeyed the hold! You made that decision yourself, and you shot a hostage, Jesus Brian!

Gamble:
[Shocked] Woah, you sounded a lot like Fuller. Isn't that what you were talking about in there, you rat me out, you cut a deal to get back on the team, Jim?

Street:
Did I cut a deal?

Gamble:
Yeah, did you?

Street:
How many times have I cover up for you and all your goddamn stunts?

Gamble:
[shrugs] That's what a real partner ... [picks up badge] You just picked a paycheck over me, bro. [tosses badge to Street]

Street:
You just picked yourself over everything else.

Gamble:
You wanna stay here, be Fuller's b*tch? You go right ahead, but I can't do it, nope can't do it. Goddmanit goddamnit god-[slaps locker in anger]-damnit, Jim.

Street:
We were partners for five years, and this is how you wanna end it?

Gamble:
Nuh, uh. I didn't end it. You sold me out to the press.

Street:
You know, I never realize until now how full of sh*t you are. [tosses badge back to Gamble, who comes over and grabs Street by the shirt in anger]

Gamble:
F*** you, and SWAT. [pushes Street back and breaks a mirror behind him]

[Michael Boxer and TJ McCabe chance upon Jim Street]

Michael Boxer:
I just want to know what you did to my little sister.

Jim Street:
She's 28, Boxer, okay? And trust me, she's not so little.

TJ McCabe:
[laughing] Oh no, you didn't...

[Hondo monitors the team as they play poker by sniper rifle]

Daniel "Hondo" Harrelson:
[Deke shoots a card] Ten of spades. Spade flush.

Jim Street:
Hondo, isn't that a straight flush?

Hondo:
Hold the phone. Six, seven, eight, nine, ten of spades. Deke!

Deacon "Deke" Kaye:
Beats four aces in Compton any day!

[Deke Kaye is impressed with a prototype device Street introduced to the team for a takedown]

Deacon "Deke" Kaye:
We need to sell that sh*t on eBay.

Jim Street:
I only have one.

Deke:
We'll split the profits fifty-fifty, corner the market. Break 'em down like a shotgun - The Polish Penetrator!

[Chris Sanchez notices something while the team drives on the way to Hawthorne Airport]

Chris Sanchez:
Did they build an airport downtown in the past two days?

Daniel "Hondo" Harrelson:
I don't think so, Sanchez, why?

Sanchez:
That Learjet on your right. It's flying real low.

[Hondo sees TJ McCabe lying in the disabled Learjet]

TJ McCabe:
How's Boxer?

Daniel "Hondo" Harrelson:
What do you care?

McCabe:
C'mon, Hondo, just give me that.

Hondo:
He's going to make it.

McCabe:
Good.

Hondo:
Just couldn't resist, could ya? So what do you wanna do?

McCabe:
Goddamnit, Sarge. [commits suicide]

[After dropping off Montiel, the team receives a report of a stand-off on the way back]

Daniel "Hondo" Harrelson:
Technically, our watch has been over for 12 hours.

Jim Street:
So?

Hondo:
Yeah ... What the hell. [prepares weapon] Mount up!

Hondo:
"Flip a b***h! "

Deke:
"Flippin a b***h!"

[Jim Street and Brian Gamble are in Captain Thomas Fuller's office, facing punishment for their stunt with the bank robbery]

Brian Gamble:
That woman is alive because of what we did.

Capt. Thomas Fuller:
Yeah, alive and suing the city for millions. The Chief said if he's gonna pay, somebody else does, too, and it sure as hell isn't gonna be me.

Brian Gamble:
C'mon Fuller we get...

Capt. Thomas Fuller:
[Interrupting] *Captain* Fuller.

Brian Gamble:
Captain Fuller, we get two seconds to make a decision! You get two months to sit there and tear it apart?!

Velasquez:
SWAT means "Special Weapons *And* Tactics". Where were your tactics out there?

Jim Street:
Saving a woman from getting shot. That's where are tactics were.

Gamble:
Every cop in this department knows that we did the right thing.

Fuller:
Sometimes, doing the right thing isn't doing the right thing.

Sgt. Howard:
What the hell does that mean?

Fuller:
[stern] Sergeant... [turns to Street and Gamble] You disobeyed a direct order, end of story. You're both off SWAT.

Velasquez:
Captain. They're two of our best officers.

Fuller:
Well I'm not sticking them back in the field after a stunt like that.

Brian Gamble:
[Becoming angry] Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know that saving lives was goddamn stunt!

Fuller:
[angry] Hey, you've got a big mouth, and apparently you're quick on the trigger, and *that* is why your ass is in a sling!

Velasquez:
Captain Fuller, if you're really gonna put them off SWAT at least keep them in the division. Give'em a shot at getting back.

[Everyone pauses. Fuller looks at Velasquez, then back at Street]

Fuller:
Fine, stick'em in the gun cage. Get'em out of my sight.