Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Billy:
You'll never get away with this, you Martian!

Kimar:
Dropo, you are the laziest man on Mars. Why are you sleeping during working hours?

Dropo:
I wasn't sleeping, chief. It's just that I haven't been able to sleep these last few months. I forgot how. So I was just practicing.

Betty:
What are those funny things sticking out of your head?

Rigna:
Those are our antennae.

Betty:
Are you a television set?

Kimar:
How are you feeling today? Tired?

Santa Claus:
Oh, no, I'm not tired. But my finger is.

Santa Claus:
Oh me, oh my, oh me!

Santa Claus:
No siree! We're going out the good ol' fashioned way. Prancer and Dancer and Donder and Blitzen, and Vixen and Nixon... oh, consarnit I get those names mixed up, but the KIDS know their names.

Santa Claus:
Oh, Winky made that. That's his idea of a Martian.

Voldar:
All this trouble over a fat little man in a red suit!

Kimar:
Santa, you will never return to Earth, you belong to Mars now.

Santa Claus:
Ho Ho, Hooo...

Rigna:
Chochem is over eight hundred years old, no one can argue with the wisdom of the ages.

Voldar:
I can.

Santa Claus:
Ho ho, we meet again, eh?

Hargo:
What's soft and round and you put it on a stick and you toast it in a fire, and it's green?

Kimar:
I don't know what?

Hargo:
A Martian mellow.

Andy Henderson:
What is this strange looking creature over here?

Santa Claus:
Oh, Winky made that. That's his idea of a Martian.

Andy Henderson:
A Martian? Wow-wee-wow! I'd hate to meet a creature like that on a dark night.

Santa Claus:
Well, when Voldar "accidentally" left us in the airlock and then came up here and "accidentally" threw the door switch, we knew we had to get out of there in a hurry or that would be the end of us. Eh, uh, "accidentally," of course.

Voldar:
If we take them with us to Mars, Santa's disappearance will remain a mystery. No one on Earth will ever know that Santa Claus was kidnapped by Martians.

TV News Announcer:
Here's another UFO Bulletin: The Defense Department has just announced that the unidentified flying object suddenly disappeared from our radar screen. They believe the object has either disintegrated in space, or it may be a space ship from another planet which has the ability to nullify all radar beams.

TV News Announcer:
[News report after Santa's disappearance] And Mrs. Claus has positively identified the kidnappers as Martians.