Musketeer

Musketeer

Director Richard Lester strikes the perfect balance between slapstick and swashbuckling swordplay in this whimsical adaptation of Alexandre Dumas's grand adventure. Michael York, all innocence and wide-eyed chivalry as young D'Artagnan, makes quite an impression on his first day in Paris: he challenges all three of the legendary Musketeers to a duel, then joins them in arms against the cardinal's soldiers. The worldly rascals, led by Athos (Oliver Reed), who hides his brooding past behind a sarcastic wit, adopt the young hero. Soon D'Artagnan is stealing hearts and stealing food with equal aplomb as he joins their campaign to defend the queen (Geraldine Chaplin) against a plot devised by the scheming cardinal (Charlton Heston) and his cold-hearted accomplice Milady de Winter (Faye Dunaway). Richard Chamberlain's Aramis, the trio's Don Juan and resident man of God, and Frank Finlay's fun-loving hedonist Porthos round out the Musketeers, while Christopher Lee's sneering Rochefort executes the cardinal's wishes as commander of the church's soldiers. Other members of this talented cast include Raquel Welch as the beautiful but disaster-prone seamstress to the queen, Spike Milligan as the beauty's jealous husband, Roy Kinnear as D'Artagnan's bumbling servant, Planchet, and Jean-Pierre Cassel as the clueless king. George MacDonald Fraser's rollicking screenplay combines boisterous adventure and roguish humor with marvelous characters, and Lester's dynamic direction turns it into one of the greatest comic swashbucklers of all time. Followed by The Four Musketeers, which continues the story in a darker vein. --Sean Axmaker

  Musketeer Screenplay »
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PG-13 (Parental Guidance Suggested)
Year:
2001
105
654 Views

Febre:
Bless me, Father, for I have sinned... It's been a lifetime since my last confession.

Aramis:
We're drunks, not fools.

D'Artagnan:
Bless me Father, for I will sin. One night I will come for you.

Francesca:
I'm not dead. Now will you please go kill him?

Febre the Man in Black:
What if I must absolutely kill someone?

Cardinal Richelieu:
Well, if you must, you must.

Francesca bon Ansau:
Don't look at me like that.

D'Artagnan:
Those eyes...

Francesca bon Ansau:
They are the only eyes I have.

D'Artagnan:
I don't know what to say.

Francesca bon Ansau:
Sometimes it is better to say nothing.

Francesca bon Ansau:
Would you say that again?

D'Artagnan:
Do not harm her!

Febre the Man in Black:
But... I feel the need to harm someone.

The Queen:
I will die before I help you.

Febre the Man in Black:
You wouldn't be the first.

Rochefort, Richelieu Henchman:
You're mad!

Febre the Man in Black:
That's the second time tonight I've been called mad, and I'm starting to resent it.

Cardinal Richelieu:
So you plot the course of history now. You must be mad!

Febre the Man in Black:
That's three times. It must be so.

Aramis:
Do not turn from me, D'Artagnan, or I shall have to fight you!

D'Artagnan:
Do not fight me, Aramis, or I shall have to kill you.

Porthos:
This wine is invigorating.

D'Artagnan:
Don't get too invigorated.

D'Artagnan:
This is not what you think.

Francesca:
You have no idea what I think.

D'Artagnan:
I... I wish to explain.

Francesca:
You behave as though you've never seen a naked woman.

D'Artagnan:
Never one quite so... naked.

D'Artagnan:
Or so beautiful.

Francesca:
But you have seen many ugly naked women?

D'Artagnan:
That's not what I meant!

Buxom Woman at Banquet:
Nice sword.

D'Artagnan:
Thank You, Mademoiselle.

Buxom Woman at Banquet:
Is it a long sword or a short sword?

D'Artagnan:
Well, long enough.

Buxom Woman at Banquet:
Do you keep your sword polished?

D'Artagnan:
When there's time.

Buxom Woman at Banquet:
And do you do it yourself, or do you have help?

D'Artagnan:
Myself, I won't trust my sword to anyone else.

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