Cork it, fatso! Don't you realise that this is the Victorian Age, where apart from Queen Piglet-Features herself, women and children are to be seen and not heard!
Yes! "Empress Oink," us lads call her. The only person in the kingdom who looks dafter than her is that stupid Frankfurter of a husband. "The Pig and the Prig," we call them. How they ever managed to produce their one hundred and twelve children is quite beyond me. The bed-chambers of Buckingham Palace must be copiously supplied with blindfolds!