I don't want to have to read you the riot act here. But I am going to have to read you some extracts from the riot act. Like "Section 1, Paragraph 1: Don't leave your boss twisting in the wind, then burst in late, smelling like a pissed seaside donkey."
Okay, okay, Simon, I was late for the meeting. I am sorry. But it's not like I threw up in there, is it?
No, no, you're right. I'm being unfair. I should be thanking you for not throwing up. Well done! You're a star! And you didn't wet yourself, did you? You're in the right city. You didn't say anything overtly racist. You didn't pull your dick out, start plucking it and shouting "Willy Banjo!" No, I'm being really unfair. You'd got so much right... without actually being there for the beginning of one of the most important moments in my career. Thanks! You're a legend!