The Lion King 1 1/22004

Timon:
Yeeeeoooow! [Pumbaa is pulling quills out of Timon's butt with his teeth] Ay!

Pumbaa:
[talking around a quill] Guess bowling for porcupines [spits out the quill] wasn't the best idea, huh?

Timon:
Yeah. Gotta be right up there with bobbing for snapping turtles. [Pumbaa plucks out another quill] Aah ha ha ha ha hoo!

Pumbaa:
[under his breath] Ohh, that's gonna leave a mark. [He spits out the quill, then looks up at the sound of buzzards squawking] Hey, look Timon. Buzzards! What do you say? One more round?

[Camera slowly trucks in on the scene in the desert where the buzzards are clustering around what we know to be Simba]

Timon:
[sarcastically] Oh, sure. There must be *some* part of me we haven't injured yet.

Pumbaa:
Oh, *please*? [waggling his tail] Oh please oh please oh please oh please oh please?

Timon:
[stretching wearily] Nah, Pumbaa. I'm beat. You go ahead; I'm callin' it a day. [plucks out one last quill] Aiee!

Pumbaa:
[whimpering] But it's no fun alone.

[He starts to sob and whine like a dog. He begins to turn away, but just then Timon runs back and jumps up on his head]

Timon:
Aw, why not? One more run won't change our lives!

[Pumbaa, with Timon riding on top, goes charging into the desert towards the buzzards]

Both:
Yaaaah!

[The movie pauses just as they reach the camera. Timon begins narrating]

Timon:
Who knows why fate led us to little Simba that day? [Scene switches, slide-show style, to Pumbaa lifting Simba on his tusks, Timon looking terrified] Maybe it was just my love of adventure... [Switch to Simba roaring in the jungle, Timon leaping up in terror] Or my innate courage... [Stills show more scenes of Simba terrifying the fur off Timon] ...My valiant and fearless way of... Okay, who's in charge of the freeze-frames!?! [freeze on Timon doing a freakish wild-take pinned up against a tree root]

Pumbaa:
Sorry.

Timon:
Anywho... [resuming narration] Rescuing Simba was a cinch. [Pumbaa gathers up Simba on his tusks and trots off with him back to the jungle] Then came the *reeeally* scary part. ...Parenthood.