Biloxi Blues1988

Eugene Morris Jerome:
Hey, what if she's ugly. I mean, really ugly.

Selridge:
Then you close your eyes and you think of some cheerleader.

Eugene Morris Jerome:
I don't want to close my eyes, that's the same as doing it to yourself.

Selridge:
Not if you're feeling someone underneath you, or on top of you.

Eugene Morris Jerome:
On top of me? Who would be on top of me?

Selridge:
She would. She could be anywhere. Under a table, on a chair, or an ironing board.

Eugene Morris Jerome:
On an ironing board? What kind of girl is this? I thought we were going to a regular place.

Selridge:
Don't you know anything?

Eugene Morris Jerome:
Maybe not in actual experience, but I have all the information I need.

Selridge:
You don't know sh*t, Jerome. Do you know how many positions there are?

Eugene Morris Jerome:
American or worldwide?

Carney:
(laughs) This guy is a riot.

Selridge:
For five bucks, how many positions are there?

Eugene Morris Jerome:
Let me think.

Selridge:
Do you want me to tell you?

Eugene Morris Jerome:
No.

Selridge:
I'm gonna tell you. There are seventeen acceptable positions.

Eugene Morris Jerome:
Acceptable? What is there, an Olympic committee that votes on positions.

Carney:
I can't believe this guy is from New York.

Eugene Morris Jerome:
Besides, you're wrong. There's fifty-two positions.

Selridge:
Fifty-two? You're crazy. Where did you ever get that from?

Eugene Morris Jerome:
I saw a dirty deck of cards once.

Selridge:
This jerk is worse than Epstein.

Eugene Morris Jerome:
You owe me five bucks.

Selridge:
Hey, listen, twerp. You're lucky if you do one position.

Eugene Morris Jerome:
I'm not doing anything if it's on an ironing board.

Carney:
Why not? You'll get your shirt pressed for free.