| "I think Superman and Santa Claus are actually the same guy, and I'll tell you why Both fly, both wear red, and both have a beard." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark." »Dick Gregory |
| "I stopped believing in Santa Claus when my mother took me to see him in a department store, and he asked for my autograph." »Shirley Temple |
| "If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is to blame it on Santa Claus." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "Christmas is a time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell the government what they want-and their kids pay for it." »Richard Lamm |
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