| "Every invalid is a doctor." »Irish Proverb |
| "The billiard table is better than the doctor." »Mark Twain |
| "The doctor is to be feared more than the disease." »Latin Proverb |
| "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." »Erma Bombeck |
| "Beware of the young doctor and the old barber." »Benjamin Franklin |
| "God heals, and the doctor takes the fees." »Benjamin Franklin |
| "The best doctor in the world is the veterinarian. He can't ask his patients what is the matter-he's got to just know." »Will Rogers |
| "My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people." »Orson Welles |
| "My doctor gave me two weeks to live. I hope they're in August." »Ronnie Shakes |
| "If my doctor told me I had only six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood. I'd type a little faster." »Isaac Asimov |
| "One has a greater sense of intellectual degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience." »Alice James |
| "The emotional, sexual, and psychological stereotyping of females begins when the doctor says 'It's a girl.'" »Shirley Chisholm |
| "A doctor can bury his mistakes but an architect can only advise his client to plant vines." »Frank Lloyd Wright |
| "I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it." »Jimmy Stewart |
| "Myself when young did eagerly frequent doctor and Saint, and heard great Argument About it and about but evermore Came out by the same Door as in I went." »Omar Khayym |
| "As a doctor, as a man of science, I can tell you there is no such thing as curses Everything just happens as a question of probability. The statistical likelihood of a specific event." »Andrew Schneider |
| "My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes." »Douglas Noel Adams |
| "There's no pressure in baseball. Pressure is when the doctor is getting ready to cut you, take your heart out, and put it on a table." »Charlie Manuel |
| "It is a curious fact that when we get sick we want an uncommon doctor... When we get into a war, we dreadfully want an uncommon admiral and an uncommon general. Only when we get into politics are we content with the common man." »Herbert Clark Hoover |
| "I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places." »Henny Youngman |
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