| "Any lady who is first lady likes being first lady. I don't care what they say, they like it." »Richard Milhous Nixon |
| "A well-known scientist (some say it was Bertrand Russell) once gave a public lecture on astronomy. He described how the earth orbits around the sun and how the sun, in turn, orbits around the center of a vast collection of stars called our galaxy. At the end of the lecture a little old lady at the back of the room got up and said 'What you have told us is rubbish. The world is really a flat plate supported on the back of a giant tortoise.' The scientist gave a superior smile before replying, 'What is the turtle standing on' 'You're very clever, young man, very clever,' said the little old lady. 'But it's turtles all the way down.'" »Stephen William Hawking |
| "Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren't." »Margaret Hilda Thatcher |
| "The lady doth protest too much, methinks." »William Shakespeare |
| "To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady." »Wilson Mizner |
| "The opera isn't over till the fat lady sings." »Dan Cook |
| "The first lady is, and always has been, an unpaid public servant elected by one person, her husband." »Claudia Alta Taylor Johnson |
| "lady you berefit me of all words, Only my blood speaks to you in my veins, And there is such confusion in my powers." »William Shakespeare |
| "Jive lady Just hang loose blood. She gonna handa your rebound on the med side." »Airplane |
| "Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "The university's characteristic state may be summarized by the words of the lady who said, I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something." »Hanna Holborn Gray |
| "You may search my time-worn face, You'll find a merry eye that twinkles I am NOT an old lady Just a little girl with wrinkles." »Edythe E. Bregnard |
| "But when a young lady is to be a heroine, the perverseness of forty surrounding families cannot prevent her. Something must and will happen to throw a hero in her way." »Jane Austen |
| "I have heard with admiring submission the experience of the lady who declared that the sense of being well-dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquillity which religion is powerless to bestow." »Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| "A hat should be taken off when you greet a lady and left off for the rest of your life. Nothing looks more stupid than a hat." »P. J. O'Rourke |
| "The memory of that scene for me is like a frame of film forever frozen at that moment the red carpet, the green lawn, the white house, the leaden sky. ... The new president and his first lady." »Richard Milhous Nixon |
| "A lady came up to me on the street and pointed to my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.'" »Jake Johanson |
| "I bet when they weren't fighting, Vikings with horn helmets had to stick potatoes on the ends of the horns, so as to avoid eye pokings to fellow Vikings and lady Vikings." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "Slater Behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington man, and everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man when he come in the door, man she was a hip, hip, hip lady, man." »Dazed and Confused |
| "In conclusion, there is a marvelous anecdote from the occasion of Russell's ninetieth birthday that best serves to summarize his attitude toward God and religion. A London lady sat next to him at this party, and over the soup she suggested to him that he was not only the world's most famous atheist but, by this time, very probably the world's oldest atheist. 'What will you do, Bertie, if it turns out you're wrong' she asked. 'I mean, what if--uh--when the time comes, you should meet Him What will you say' Russell was delighted with the question. His birght, birdlike eyes grew even brighter as he contempalated this possible future dialogue, and then he pointed a finger upward and cried, 'Why, I should say, 'God, you gave us insufficient evidence.' '" »Al Seckel |
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