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"Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new nickname for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname 'Fly Head'. Normally, you would think that 'Fly Head' would mean a person who had beautiful swept-back features, as if flying though the air. But think again. Couldn't it also mean 'having a head like a fly' I'm afraid some people might actually think that." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it it his head that splits." »G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy
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"If God dropped acid, would he see people?" »Steven Wright
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"I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to." »Yakov Smirnoff
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"Tobacco, coffee, alcohol, hashish, prussic acid, strychnine, are weak dilutions the surest poison is time." »Ralph Waldo Emerson
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"A cap of good acid costs five dollars and for that you can hear the Universal Symphony with God singing solo and the Holy Ghost on drums." »Hunter S. Thompson
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"More important than winning the election, is governing the nation. That is the test of a political party -- the acid, final test." »Adlai Ewing Stevenson
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"Stuart Would ya look at the size of that kid's head It's the size of a planetoid and it has it's own weather system Looks like an orange on a toothpick I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik spherical but quite pointy at parts He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow." »So I Married an Axe Murderer
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"While technically I did not commit a crime, an impeachable offense... these are legalisms, as far as the handling of this matter is concerned it was so botched up, I made so many bad judgments. The worst ones, mistakes of the heart, rather than the head. But let me say, a man in that top job - he's got to have a heart, but his head must always rule his heart." »Richard Milhous Nixon
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"Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain." »Pierre Trudeau
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"There are three side effects of acid. Enchanced long term memory, decreased short term memory, and I forget the third." »Timothy Leary
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"Nicky I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning ill get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your f***in' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what I'll split your f***in' head open again. 'Cause I'm f***in' stupid. I don't give a f*** about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." »Casino
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"In the sixties, the world was normal and people took acid to make it weird. Nowadays the world is weird and people take prozac to make it normal." »Unknown
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"If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun." »Benjamin Franklin
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"I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away." »Oscar Levant
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"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined." »Samuel Goldwyn
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"What a splendid head, yet no brain." »Aesop
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"A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them." »Elbert Hubbard
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"A hair on the head is worth two on the brush." »Irish Proverb
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"The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head." »Terry Pratchett, A Discworld Novel
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"The blind man is laughing at the bald head." »Persian Proverb
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"Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing." »Georges Jacques Danton, to his executioner
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"A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart." »Jonathan Swift
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"A cold in the head cause less suffering than an idea." »Jules Renard
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""Alas! I have more hair on my shoulders then on my head."" »Paul. F. Meekin
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"He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating." »Ayn Rand
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"Ninety percent of all mental errors are in your head." »Yogi Berra, Sports Illustrated
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"It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head." »Sally Kempton
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"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks." »Steve Martin
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"Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out." »Michael Burke
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