| "Happy Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass." »Happy Gilmore |
| "An ass is but an ass, though laden with gold." »Romanian Proverb |
| "Never assume, for it makes an ASS out of U and ME." »Anonymous |
| "If three people say you are an ass, put on a bridle." »Danish proverb |
| "Happy If I saw myself dressed like that, I'd have to kick my own ass." »Happy Gilmore |
| "The law is sic a ass - a idiot." »Charles Dickens |
| "It is a pain in the ass waiting around for someone to try to kill you." »Roger Zelazny |
| "Your brain can only absorb what your ass can endure." »P. Dan Wiwchar |
| "I think the American public wants a solemn ass as a President, and I think I'll go along with them." »Calvin Coolidge |
| "The sun don't shine on the same dog's ass all the time." »Catfish Hunter |
| "Even on the highest throne in the world, we are still sitting on our ass." »Michel de Montaigne |
| "Pleasure is the carrot dangled to lead the ass to market or the precipice." »Robinson Jeffers |
| "Tommy You can take a good look at a T-bone by sticking your head up a bull's ass, but wouldn't you rather take the butcher's word for it" »Tommy Boy |
| "Carter My daddy'll kick your daddy's ass all the way from here to China, Japan, wherever the hell you from and all up that Great Wall too." »Rush Hour |
| "Carter Don't you ever touch a black man's radio, boy You can do that in China but you can get your ass killed out here, man." »Rush Hour |
| "Personally I think birthdays and anniversaries are like menstrual cramps, a regular pain in the ass thats somehow connected to birth." »Hugh Elliott |
| "The ass will carry his load, but not a double load ride not a free horse to death." »Miguel de Cervantes |
| "Marta likes to talk about sensuality, but I don't think she would know sensuality if it bit her on the ass." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "Happy Son of a bitch ball. Why can't you go home Aren't you good enough for your home Answer me. Suck my white ass ball." »Happy Gilmore |
| "Above all things, be not made an ass to carry the burdens of other men if any friend desire thee to be his surety, give him a part of what thou has to spare if he presses thee further, he is not thy friend at all." »Sir Walter Raleigh |
| "Juanita Ooh that boy's a fine piece of work all right. He's a fine piece of ass though, too." »Billy Madison |
| "Ferris Cameron has never been in love -- at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work." »Ferris Bueller's Day Off |
| "Ricky Here's what I'm gonna ask of you... We're going to be spending the night in New York, so it worked out well for all of us. I want you to take it back to the business class, I want you to round up a couple of honeys... At our hotel room we're gonna have kind of a pool party. California gangster-style, you know what I mean Kick ass pool party thing." »Made |
| "That's the whole thing with the hog. It's you and 80 wild horses under your butt, just sitting on 10 square inches where the rubber meets the road. That hurricane gale wind whipping you in the face, leaning into a curve you can feel that gravity wanting to suck you down into it and what do you do Give it a little more gas. Pure centrifugal force. You can see yourself hurtling ass end over teakettle into oblivion." »Robin Green |
| "A man's women folk, whatever their outward show of respect for his merit and authority, always regard him secretly as an ass, and with something akin to pity. His most gaudy sayings and doings seldom deceive them they see the actual man within, and know him for a shallow and pathetic fellow. In this fact, perhaps, lies one of the best proofs of feminine intelligence, or, as the common phrase makes it, feminine intuition." »Henry Louis Mencken |
| "Donnie Brasco Forget about it is like if you agree with someone, you know, like Raquel Welsh is one great piece of ass, forget about it. But then, if you disagree, like A Lincoln is better than a Cadillac Forget about it you know But then, it's also like if something's the greatest thing in the world, like mingia peppers, forget about it. But it's also like saying Go to hell too. Like, you know, like Hey Paulie, you got a one inch pecker and Paulie says Forget about it Sometimes it just means forget about it" »Donnie Brasco |
| "Clarence Oh there they go. There they go, every time I start talkin 'bout boxing, a white man got to pull Rocky Marciano out their ass. That's their one, that's their one. Rocky Marciano. Rocky Marciano. Let me tell you something once and for all. Rocky Marciano was good, but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain't shit." »Coming to America |
| "Ricky Excuse me Honey, umm, where the drinks are concerned, is that a hidden tax Does that fall under complementary up front service as well or is that something you pay for Flight Attendent Oh no, no, they're complementary. Would you care for another one Ricky They're complementary Flight Attendent Yes. Ricky You bet your ass I would." »Made |
| "Indians are plenty smart. We catch small wood. Build small fire. Stand close and stay warm all over. White men not so smart. They catch big wood. Build big fire. Stand far away, burn face and freeze ass." »Henry Seely |
| "CHRIS The bane and blessing of human nature. That old cat killer, curiosity. Something so deeply embedded in our psyches that it screams to us from ancient myths of Pandora. Eve. Lot's wife. JOEL Eve lost paradise, Lot's wife was turned into a pillar of salt. Knowledge doesn't come cheap my friend. CHRIS Good or bad, curiosity is woven into our DNA like tonsils or like the opposable thumb. It's the fire under the ass of the human experience" »Jeffrey Vlaming |
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