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"The truth, of course, is that a billion falsehoods told a billion times by a billion people are still false." »Travis Walton
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"If you put a billion monkeys in front of a billion typewriters typing at random, they would reproduce the entire collected works of Usenet in about ... five minutes." »Anonymous
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"A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon it adds up to real money." »Senator Everett Dirksen
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"A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're talking about real money." »Senator Everett Dirksen
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"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars." »J. Paul Getty
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"Oh, I don't blame Congress. If I had 600 billion at my disposal, I'd be irresponsible, too." »Lichty and Wagner
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"I'm the only person I know that's lost a quarter of a billion dollars in one year.... It's very character-building." »Steve Jobs
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"We're a planet of nearly six billion ninnies living in a civilization that was designed by a few thousand amazingly smart deviants." »Scott Adams
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"Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies." »Woody Allen
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"Hell, we spent $200 billion to get a scared guy who needed a shave out of a fox-hole! And he may even die of prostate cancer before we even get a chance to try him, dammit!" »Ted Turner, A speech to the McCallie School in Chattanooga, TN
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"The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year --- everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth." »Lilly Tomlin, as Ernestine the Operator
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"I'm not afraid of insects taking over the world, and you know why It would take about a billion ants just to AIM a gun at me, let alone fire it. And you know what I'm doing while they're aiming it at me I just sort of slip off to the side, and then suddenly run up and kick the gun out of their hands." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"It is no secret that organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one considers that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies." »Woody Allen
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"Remind me to write an article on the compulsive reading of news. The theme will be that most neuroses can be traced to the unhealthy habit of wallowing in the troubles of five billion strangers." »Robert A. Heinlein
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"It is hard to think that a $2 billion company with 4,300-plus people couldn't compete with six people in blue jeans." »Steve Jobs
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"If this universe is the House of God, then I must say it is quite a dark house despite several hundred billion suns!" »Mehmet Murat ildan
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"In the next year or so, my signature will appear on 60 billion of United States currency. More important to me, however, is the signature that appears on my life-the strong, proud, assertive handwriting of a loving father and mother." »Katherine D. Ortega
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"The most extensive computation known has been conducted over the last billion years on a planet-wide scale: it is the evolution of life. The power of this computation is illustrated by the complexity and beauty of its crowning achievement, the human brain." »David Rogers, Weather Prediction Using a Genetic Memory
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"There are 1011 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers." »Richard Feynman
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"A politician will always tip off his true belief by stating the opposite at the beginning of the sentence. For maximum comprehension, do not start listening until the first clause is concluded. Begin instead at the word "but" which begins the second, or active, clause. This is the way to tell a liberal from a conservative -- before they tell you.
Thus: "I have always believed in a strong national defense, second to none, but ... " (a liberal, about to propose a $20 billion defense cut)." »Frank Mankiewicz
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