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"Don't open a shop unless you know how to smile." »Jewish Proverb
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"Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull." »H. L. Mencken
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"If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be closed for any other business." »Abraham Lincoln
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"Laughter is nothing else but a sudden glory arising from some sudden conception of some eminency in ourselves, by comparison with the infirmity of others, or with our own formerly." »Thomas Hobbes
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"The probability of life originating from accident is comparable to the probability of the unabridged dictionary resulting from an explosion in a printing shop." »Edwin Conklin
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"I believe, if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice." »Abraham Lincoln
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"Another possible source of guidance for teenagers is television, but television's message has always been that the need for truth, wisdom and world peace pales by comparison with the need for a toothpaste that offers whiter teeth *and* fresher breath." »Dave Barry
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"There is neither happiness nor unhappiness in this world; there is only the comparison of one state with another. Only a man who has felt ultimate despair is capable of feeling ultimate bliss. It is necessary to have wished for death in order to know how good life is to live." »Alexandre Dumas, The Count of Monte Cristo
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"We all dream we do not understand our dreams, yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds, strange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake." »Erich Fromm
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"It is a kind of policy in these days to prefix a fantastical title to a book which is to be sold; for as larks come down to a day-net, many vain readers will tarry and stand gazing, like silly passengers, at an antic picture in a painter?s shop that will not look at a judicious piece." »Burton
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"One of the diseases of this age is the multitude of books. It is a thriftless and a thankless occupation, this writing of books: a man were better to sing in a cobbler?s shop, for his pay is a penny a patch; but a book-writer, if he get sometimes a few commendations from the judicious, he shall be sure to reap a thousand reproaches from the malicious." »Barnaby Rich
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"That family glaze of common references, jokes, events, calamities-that sense of a family being like a kitchen midden layer upon layer of the things daily life is made of. The edifice that lovers build is by comparison delicate and one-dimensional." »Laurie E. Colwin
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"I love America because America trusts me. When I go into a shop to buy a pair of shoes I am not asked to produce my Identity Card. I love it because my mail is not censored. My phone is not tapped. My conversation with friends is not reported to the secret police." »Janina Atkins
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"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all doing direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only." »Charles Dickens
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"In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that men know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is look at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood Shop eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home." »Dave Barry
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