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"If nominated, I will not run if elected, I will not serve." »Gen. William Sherman
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"Get all the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything." »Frank Dane
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"The problem with political jokes is they get elected." »Henry VII Cate
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"Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote." »George Jean Nathan
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"I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to town, we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"I am acutely aware that you have not elected me as your president by your ballots, so I ask you to confirm me with your prayers." »Gerald R. Ford
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"The first lady is, and always has been, an unpaid public servant elected by one person, her husband." »Claudia Alta Taylor Johnson
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"The First Lady is an unpaid public servant elected by one person --- her husband." »Lady Bird Johnson
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"CNN is one of the participants in the war. I have a fantasy where Ted Turner is elected president but refuses because he doesn't want to give up power." »Arthur C. Clarke
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"I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads that gave us a shock whenever we did something to disobey the president. Then somehow I get myself elected president." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"Ninety eight percent of the adults in this country are decent, hardworking, honest Americans. It's the other lousy two percent that get all the publicity. But then, we elected them." »Lily Tomlin
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"President Reagan was elected on the promise of getting government off the backs of the people and now he demands that government wrap itself around the waists of the people." »Ralph Nader
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"To exclude from positions of trust and command all those below the age of 44 would have kept Jefferson from writing the Declaration of Independence, Washington from commanding the Continental Army, Madison from fathering the Constitution, Hamilton from serving as secretary of the treasury, Clay from being elected speaker of the House and Christopher Columbus from discovering America." »John Fitzgerald Kennedy
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"Insofar as I may be heard by anything, which may or may not care what I say, I ask, if it matters, that you be forgiven for anything you may have done or failed to do which requires forgiveness. Conversely, if not forgiveness but something else may be required to insure any possible benefit for which you may be eligible after the destruction of your body, I ask that this, whatever it may be, be granted or withheld, as the case may be, in such a manner as to insure your receiving said benefit. I ask this in my capacity as your elected intermediary between yourself and that which may not be yourself, but which may have an interest in the matter of your receiving as much as it is possible for you to receive of this thing, and which may in some way be influenced by this ceremony. Amen." »Roger Zelazny
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