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"We know that the world is not resting on the horn of a bull; we also know that it rests on the horn of lies!" »Mehmet Murat ildan
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"The problem with defending the purity of the english language is that english is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, english has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary." »James Nicoll
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"Dreams surely are difficult, confusing, and not everything in them is brought to pass for mankind. For fleeting dreams have two gates one is fashioned of horn and one of ivory. Those which pass through the one of sawn ivory are deceptive, bringing tidings which come to nought, but those which issue from the one of polished horn bring true results when a mortal sees them." »Homer
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"Dreams surely are difficult, confusing, and not everything in them is brought to pass for mankind. For fleeting dreams have two gates: one is fashioned of horn and one of ivory. Those which pass through the one of sawn ivory are deceptive, bringing tidings which come to nought, but those which issue from the one of polished horn bring true results when a mortal sees them." »Homer, The Odyssey
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"1. At the rise of the hand of the policeman, stop rapidly. Do not pass him or otherwise disrespect him.
2. If pedestrian obstacle your path, tootle horn melodiously. If he continue to obstacle, tootle horn vigorously and utter vocal warning such as "Hi, Hi."
[...]
5. Beware of greasy corner where lurk skid demon. Cease step on, approach slowly, round cautiously, resume step on gradually." »from an official Japanese guide for English-speaking drivers, 1936
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"Carter Please tell me you speak english. I'm Detective Carter. Do you speaka any english Do you understand the words that are coming out of my mouth" »Rush Hour
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"Music is your own experience, your thoughts, your wisdom. If you don't live it, it won't come out of your horn." »Charlie Parker
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"Our common language is ... english. And our common task is to ensure that our non-English-speaking children learn this common language." »William John Bennett
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"I like to think of my best moment on the job as quiet victories. Victories over what Over the system, over the various bureaucracies not watching me, over my colleagues' indifference, over my patron's ignorance, over the very concept of horn-blowing pride." »Paul Wiener
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"I bet when they weren't fighting, Vikings with horn helmets had to stick potatoes on the ends of the horns, so as to avoid eye pokings to fellow Vikings and lady Vikings." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"The english think incompetence is the same thing as sincerity." »Quentin Crisp
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"english is the easiest language to speak badly." »George Bernhard Shaw
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"The english instinctively admire any man who has no talent and is modest about it." »James Agate
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"Opera in english is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian." »H. L. Mencken
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""Reality" is the only word in the english language that should always be used in quotes." »Unknown
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"Drawing on my fine command of the english language, I said nothing." »Robert Benchley
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"The nine most terrifying words in the english language are, 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'" »Ronald Reagan
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"All last year we tried to teach him english, and the only word he learned was million." »Tommy Lasorda, on pitcher Fernando Valenzuela
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"If the english language made any sense, a catastrophe would be an apostrophe with fur." »Doug Larson
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"Continental people have sex-lives the english have hot-water bottles." »George Mikes
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"Never make fun of someone who speaks broken english. It means they know another language." »H. Jackson Brown Jr.
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"The english have no respect for their language, and will not teach their children to speak it." »George Bernard Shaw
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"The two most beautiful words in the english language are ``check enclosed.'" »Dorothy Parker
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"When you die, if you go somewhere where they ask you a bunch of questions about your life and what you learned and all, I think a good way to get out of it is just to say, 'No speaka english.'" »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"english is a funny language..... De(a)dication can lead you to all the success in Life" »Siddharth Astir
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"If the english language made any sense, lackadaisical would have something to do with a shortage of flowers." »Doug Larson
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"I don't know why you use a fancy French word like dtente when there's a good english phrase for it-cold war." »Golda Meir
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"The english country gentleman galloping after a fox - the unspeakable in full pursuit of the uneatable." »Oscar Wilde
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"Me, we. (Supposedly the shortest quote in the english language delivered at a Harvard graduation.)" »Muhammad Ali
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"It was one of those perfect english autumnal days which occur more frequently in memory than in life." »P. D. James
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| BTW, Why won't you become an editor? |
