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"Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know anybody First, take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled-up napkin, and take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy garbage guy." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"Thank God I am not an intellectual! What a garbage of knowledge, what an unnecessary glossary of terms they have, those intellectuals!" »Mehmet Murat ildan
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"Pigs are dirty, but I will tell you something dirtier: Liars! Untruth always smells like rotten garbage!" »Mehmet Murat ildan
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"Like a garbage truck, we need a 'lie-truck' which will collect lies from everyone's houses every morning, even every hour!" »Mehmet Murat ildan
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"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it." »Rodney Dangerfield
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"The function of government ought to be: make sure you have good water to drink, somebody picking up the garbage, good roads to drive on, enough electricity to turn your light bulbs and your record player on, and whatever smaller amounts of regulatory assistance is necessary to make this society work." »Frank Zappa, Interview with this submitter, New York City, 5/08/1980
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"Many people do not realize that the snowshoe can be used for a great many things besides walking on snow. For instance, it can be used to carry pancakes from the stove to the breakfast table. Also, it can be used to carry uneaten pancakes from the table to the garbage. Finally, it can be used as a kind of stainer, where you force pancakes through the strings to see if a piece of gold got in a pancake somehow." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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