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"Like a garbage truck, we need a 'lie-truck' which will collect lies from everyone's houses every morning, even every hour!" »Mehmet Murat ildan
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"Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know anybody First, take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled-up napkin, and take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy garbage guy." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"Thank God I am not an intellectual! What a garbage of knowledge, what an unnecessary glossary of terms they have, those intellectuals!" »Mehmet Murat ildan
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"Pigs are dirty, but I will tell you something dirtier: Liars! Untruth always smells like rotten garbage!" »Mehmet Murat ildan
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"Whenever I start getting sad about where I am in my life, I think about the last words of my favorite uncle A truck" »Child Age 15
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"Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck-if you survive you start looking very carefully to the right and left." »Jean Kerr
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"If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"The best current evidence is that media are mere vehicles that deliver instruction but do not influence student achievement any more than the truck that delivers groceries causes change in our nutrition." »Richard Clark
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""Some kids wanted to be Firemen when they were growing up . . . I wanted to be a Fire Truck!"" »Tom Zegan
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"Lloyd There's really nothing to worry about Mary. Statistically they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport. You know, like on a head on crash or flying off a cliff or getting trapped under a gas truck That's the worst I have this cousin, well y'know, I had this cousin..." »Dumb & Dumber
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"My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already did. She told me to go and keep an eye on it." »Rodney Dangerfield
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"The function of government ought to be: make sure you have good water to drink, somebody picking up the garbage, good roads to drive on, enough electricity to turn your light bulbs and your record player on, and whatever smaller amounts of regulatory assistance is necessary to make this society work." »Frank Zappa, Interview with this submitter, New York City, 5/08/1980
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"I do not like poems that resemble hay compressed into a geometrically perfect cube. I like it when the hay, unkempt, uncombed, with dry berries mixed in it, thrown together gaily and freely, bounces along atop some truck-and more, if there are some lovely and healthy lasses atop the hay-and better yet if the branches catch at the hay, and some of it tumbles to the road." »Yevgeny Aleksandrovich Yevtushenko
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"Many people do not realize that the snowshoe can be used for a great many things besides walking on snow. For instance, it can be used to carry pancakes from the stove to the breakfast table. Also, it can be used to carry uneaten pancakes from the table to the garbage. Finally, it can be used as a kind of stainer, where you force pancakes through the strings to see if a piece of gold got in a pancake somehow." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"What is it about genus arboretum that socks us in the figurative solar plexus We see a logging truck go cruising down the road, stacked with a bunch of those fresh-cut giants, we feel like we lost a brother. Next thing you know, we're in The Brick, we're flopping money down on the bar. Wood. We're under a roof. Wood. We're walking the floors. Wood. Grabbing a pool cue. That's wood. Our friends in the forest carry a set of luggage from the mythical baggage carousel. Tree of life, tree of knowledge, family tree, Buddha's Bodhi tree. Page one of life, in the beginning. Genesis 322. Adam and Eve. They're kicking back in the garden of Eden and boom, they get an eviction notice. Why is that Lest they should also take of the tree of life, eat and live forever. A definitive Yahweh no-no. Be good to yourself, go out and plant a wet one on a tree." »Diane Frolov
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