| "Live.....Laugh.....golf" »Kathryn Schaefer Plaum |
| "golf is a good walk spoiled." »Mark Twain |
| "It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do." »Unknown |
| "golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at." »Jimmy Demaret |
| "golf isn't a game, it's a choice that one makes with one's life." »Charles Rosin |
| "golf is like a love affair if you don't take it seriously, it's no fun. If you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart." »Arnold Daly |
| "If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf." »Bob Hope |
| "Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "It is nothing new or original to say that golf is played one stroke at a time. But it took me many years to realize it." »Bobby Jones |
| "It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf." »H.L. Mencken |
| "A golf course is the epitome of all that is transitory in the universe, a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible." »Jean Giraudoux |
| "The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has." »Will Rogers |
| "It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course." »Hank Aaron |
| "The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf." »Bertrand Russell |
| "golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around." »Rick Reilly |
| "And the wind shall say Here were decent godless people. Their only monument the asphalt road. And a thousand lost golf balls." »T. S. Eliot |
| "Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing." »Dave Barry |
| "golf is very much like a love affair, if you don't take it seriously, it's no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. Don't break your heart, but flirt with the possibility." »Louise Suggs |
| "Happy golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass." »Happy Gilmore |
| "Mary I want a guy who can play 36 holes of golf, and still have enough energy to take Warren and me to a baseball game, and eat sausages, and beer, not lite beer, but beer. That's my ad, print it up." »There's Something About Mary |
| "Does Grandpa love to baby-sit his grandchildren Are you kidding By day he is too busy taking hormone shots at the doctor's or chip shots on the golf course. At night he and Grandma are too busy doing the cha-cha." »Hal |
| "Dr. Joel Fleischman in nature. Not exactly the man you knew. He couldn't see past the Hudson River if he tried. He liked his fish smoked or preferable hand sliced from Zabars on a sliced bagel served with onions. Nature, to him, was an irritant. Birds didn't sing, they woke him up. A body of water wasn't life, it was a golf hazard.." »Robin Green |
| "Sandy Carl I want you to kill all the gophers on the golf course Carl Spackler Correct me if I'm wrong Sandy, but if I kill all the golfers they'll lock me up and throw away the key. Sandy Not golfers, you great fool. Gophers. THE LITTLE BROWN, FURRY RODENTS. Carl Spackler We can do that. We don't even need a reason." »CaddyShack |
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