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"The factory of the future will have two employees a man and a dog. The man's job will be to feed the dog. The dog's job will be to prevent the man from touching any of the automated equipment." »Warren Bennis
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"Skiing consists of wearing 3,000 worth of clothes and equipment and driving 200 miles in the snow in order to stand around at a bar and drink." »P. J. O'Rourke
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"University President Why is it that you physicists always require so much expensive equipment Now the Department of Mathematics requires nothing but money for paper, pencils, and erasers...and the Department of Philosophy is better still. It doesn't even ask for erasers." »Isaac Asimov
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"Live.....Laugh.....golf" »Kathryn Schaefer Plaum
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"It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do." »Unknown
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"They say golf is not a contact sport. Not the way we play it." »Alice Cooper, BBC6 Radio, The Bruce Dickinson show
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"golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at." »Jimmy Demaret
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"golf isn't a game, it's a choice that one makes with one's life." »Charles Rosin
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"Foster golf club and cemetery - Only one stroke away from each other..." »David Helyar
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"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf." »Will Rogers
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"I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles." »G.K. Chesterton
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"golf is like a love affair if you don't take it seriously, it's no fun. If you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart." »Arnold Daly
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"It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course." »Hank Aaron
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"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has." »Will Rogers
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"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf." »Bob Hope
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"Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"golf is a game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood." »Samuel Johnson
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"If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States." »H. L. Mencken
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"It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf." »H.L. Mencken
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"A golf course is the epitome of all that is transitory in the universe, a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible." »Jean Giraudoux
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"It is nothing new or original to say that golf is played one stroke at a time. But it took me many years to realize it." »Bobby Jones
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"The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf." »Bertrand Russell
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"golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort." »Stephen Leacock
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"All the perplexities, confusion and distress in education these days arises, not from defects in the students,teachers or schools, not from want of equipment or technology, but from the downright ignorance of the nature of honor, virtue and kindness. Sound education... thrives on honesty, on honor, on the sacredness of obligations, on faithful protection of childhood, on unselfish performance of teachers and on accountability and reliability." »Paul. F. Meekin
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"golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose." »Winston Churchill
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"golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around." »Rick Reilly
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"Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing." »Dave Barry
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"And the wind shall say Here were decent godless people. Their only monument the asphalt road. And a thousand lost golf balls." »T. S. Eliot
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"Happy golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass." »Happy Gilmore
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"golf is very much like a love affair, if you don't take it seriously, it's no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. Don't break your heart, but flirt with the possibility." »Louise Suggs
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