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"Foster golf club and cemetery - Only one stroke away from each other..." »David Helyar
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"I sent the club a wire stating, PLEASE ACCEPT MY RESIGNATION. I DON'T WANT TO BELONG TO ANY CLUB THAT WILL ACCEPT ME AS A MEMBER." »Groucho Marx
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"You can't wait for inspiration. You have to go after it with a club." »Jack London
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"I aughta join a club and beat you over the head with it." »Groucho Marx
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"I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." »Groucho Marx
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"Getting kicked out of the American Bar Association is like getting kicked out of the Book-of-the-Month-Club." »Melvin Belli on the occasion of his getting kicked out of the American Bar Association
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"Live.....Laugh.....GOLF" »Kathryn Schaefer Plaum
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"It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do." »Unknown
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"They say golf is not a contact sport. Not the way we play it." »Alice Cooper, BBC6 Radio, The Bruce Dickinson show
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"Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at." »Jimmy Demaret
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"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf." »Will Rogers
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"Golf isn't a game, it's a choice that one makes with one's life." »Charles Rosin
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"I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles." »G.K. Chesterton
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"Golf is like a love affair if you don't take it seriously, it's no fun. If you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart." »Arnold Daly
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"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf." »Bob Hope
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"Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has." »Will Rogers
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"It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course." »Hank Aaron
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"It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf." »H.L. Mencken
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"It is nothing new or original to say that golf is played one stroke at a time. But it took me many years to realize it." »Bobby Jones
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"A golf course is the epitome of all that is transitory in the universe, a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible." »Jean Giraudoux
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"If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States." »H. L. Mencken
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"Golf is a game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood." »Samuel Johnson
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"Golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort." »Stephen Leacock
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"The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf." »Bertrand Russell
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"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose." »Winston Churchill
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"Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around." »Rick Reilly
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"Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing." »Dave Barry
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"Happy Golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass." »Happy Gilmore
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"And the wind shall say Here were decent godless people. Their only monument the asphalt road. And a thousand lost golf balls." »T. S. Eliot
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| BTW, Why won't you become an editor? |
