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Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, It was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time. – Mark Twain
After several minutes of utterly dull conversation I began to think of her not as a woman but as a human, then not as a human but as an animal, then not as an animal but as a source of high-grade protein. – Mark Gooley
All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things. – Bobby Knight
Dr. Evil The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it. – Austin Powers International Man of Mystery
Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices. – Laurence J. Peter
Everyone has the brainpower to follow the stock market. If you made it through fifth-grade math, you can do it. – Peter Lynch
Grade school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life. – John Rogers
I'm never going to be a movie star. But then, in all probability, Liz Taylor is never going to teach first and second grade. – Mary J. Wilson
It is a mistake to regard age as a downhill grade toward dissolution. The reverse is true. As one grows older, one climbs with surprising strides. – George Sand
Life is an error-making and an error-correcting process, and nature in marking man's papers will grade him for wisdom as measured both by survival and by the quality of life of those who survive. – Dr. Jonas Salk
The first time I shot the hook, I was in fourth grade, and I was about five feet eight inches tall. I put the ball up and felt totally at ease with the shot. I was completely confident it would go in and I've been shooting it ever since. – Kareem Abdul-Jabar
They say the seeds of what we will do are in all of us, but it always seemed to me that in those who make jokes in life the seeds are covered with better soil and with a higher grade of manure. – Ernest Hemingway

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