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"I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then when somebody comes up act like they just woke up and go, 'What was THAT'" »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"Lloyd There's really nothing to worry about Mary. Statistically they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport. You know, like on a head on crash or flying off a cliff or getting trapped under a gas truck That's the worst I have this cousin, well y'know, I had this cousin..." »Dumb & Dumber
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"Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new nickname for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname 'Fly Head'. Normally, you would think that 'Fly Head' would mean a person who had beautiful swept-back features, as if flying though the air. But think again. Couldn't it also mean 'having a head like a fly' I'm afraid some people might actually think that." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it it his head that splits." »G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy
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"I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to." »Yakov Smirnoff
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"If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music... and of aviation." »Tom Stoppard
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"crash programs fail because they are based on the theory that, with nine women pregnant, you can get a baby a month." »Wernher Von Braun
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"Quit thinking that you must halt before the barrier of inner negativity. You need not. You can crash through...whatever we see a negative state, that is where we can destroy it." »Vernon Howard
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"Stuart Would ya look at the size of that kid's head It's the size of a planetoid and it has it's own weather system Looks like an orange on a toothpick I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik spherical but quite pointy at parts He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow." »So I Married an Axe Murderer
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"While technically I did not commit a crime, an impeachable offense... these are legalisms, as far as the handling of this matter is concerned it was so botched up, I made so many bad judgments. The worst ones, mistakes of the heart, rather than the head. But let me say, a man in that top job - he's got to have a heart, but his head must always rule his heart." »Richard Milhous Nixon
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"When you see a man elated with pride, glorying in his riches and high descent, rising even above fortune, look out for his speedy punishment; for he is only raised the higher that he may fall with a heavier crash." »Menander
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"When you read about a car crash in which two or three youngsters are killed, do you pause to dwell on the amount of love and treasure and patience parents poured into bodies no longer suitable for open caskets" »Jim
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"Nicky I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning ill get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your f***in' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what I'll split your f***in' head open again. 'Cause I'm f***in' stupid. I don't give a f*** about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." »Casino
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"Most of you have been where I am tonight. The crash site of unrequited love. You ask yourself, How did I get here What was it about Was it her smile Was it the way she crossed her legs, the turn of her ankle, the poignant vulnerability of her slender wrists What are these elusive and ephemeral things that ignite passion in the human heart That's an age-old question. It's perfect food for thought on a bright midsummer's night." »Sybil Adelman
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"A crash is when your competitor's program dies. When your program dies, it is an 'idiosyncrasy'. Frequently, crashes are followed with a message like 'ID 02'. 'ID' is an abbreviation for idiosyncrasy and the number that follows indicates how many more months of testing the product should have had." »Guy Kawasaki
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"If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and they make fun of it, we should say we were just kidding, that this isn't really our civilization, but a gag we hoped they would like. Then we tell them to come back in twenty years to see our REAL civilization. After that, we start a crash program of coming up with an impressive new civilization. Either that, or just shoot down the aliens as they're waving good-bye." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless--like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash Be water my friend." »Bruce Lee
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"If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun." »Benjamin Franklin
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"A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them." »Elbert Hubbard
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"I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away." »Oscar Levant
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"What a splendid head, yet no brain." »Aesop
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"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined." »Samuel Goldwyn
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"The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head." »Terry Pratchett, A Discworld Novel
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"Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing." »Georges Jacques Danton, to his executioner
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"He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating." »Ayn Rand
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""Alas! I have more hair on my shoulders then on my head."" »Paul. F. Meekin
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"A cold in the head cause less suffering than an idea." »Jules Renard
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"The blind man is laughing at the bald head." »Persian Proverb
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"A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart." »Jonathan Swift
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"A hair on the head is worth two on the brush." »Irish Proverb
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