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"My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint." »Erma Bombeck
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"Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new nickname for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname 'Fly Head'. Normally, you would think that 'Fly Head' would mean a person who had beautiful swept-back features, as if flying though the air. But think again. Couldn't it also mean 'having a head like a fly' I'm afraid some people might actually think that." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it it his head that splits." »G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy
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"household tasks are easier and quicker when they are done by somebody else." »James Thorpe
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"One sometimes feels a guest of one's time and not a member of its household." »George Frost Kennan
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"All the blessings of a household come through the wife, therefore should her husband honour her." »The Talmud
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"I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to." »Yakov Smirnoff
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"Stuart Would ya look at the size of that kid's head It's the size of a planetoid and it has it's own weather system Looks like an orange on a toothpick I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik spherical but quite pointy at parts He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow." »So I Married an Axe Murderer
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"When I was young I had an elderly friend who used often to ask me to stay with him in the country. He was a religious man and he read prayers to the assembled household every morning. But he had crossed out in pencil all the passages that praised God. He said that there was nothing so vulgar as to praise people to their faces and, himself a gentleman, he could not believe that God was so ungentlemanly as to like it." »W. Somerset Maugham
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"While technically I did not commit a crime, an impeachable offense... these are legalisms, as far as the handling of this matter is concerned it was so botched up, I made so many bad judgments. The worst ones, mistakes of the heart, rather than the head. But let me say, a man in that top job - he's got to have a heart, but his head must always rule his heart." »Richard Milhous Nixon
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"May the gods grant you all things which your heart desires, and may they give you a husband and a home and gracious concord, for there is nothing greater and better than this -when a husband and wife keep a household in oneness of mind, a great woe to their enemies and joy to their friends, and win high renown." »Homer
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"Nicky I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning ill get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your f***in' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what I'll split your f***in' head open again. 'Cause I'm f***in' stupid. I don't give a f*** about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." »Casino
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"If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun." »Benjamin Franklin
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"A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them." »Elbert Hubbard
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"What a splendid head, yet no brain." »Aesop
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"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined." »Samuel Goldwyn
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"I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away." »Oscar Levant
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""Alas! I have more hair on my shoulders then on my head."" »Paul. F. Meekin
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"The blind man is laughing at the bald head." »Persian Proverb
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"Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing." »Georges Jacques Danton, to his executioner
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"A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart." »Jonathan Swift
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"A hair on the head is worth two on the brush." »Irish Proverb
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"The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head." »Terry Pratchett, A Discworld Novel
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"A cold in the head cause less suffering than an idea." »Jules Renard
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"He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating." »Ayn Rand
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"If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation." »Jean Kerr
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"Would that the Roman people had a single neck to cut off their head." »Caligula
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"A thick head can do as much damage as a hard heart." »H. W. Dodds
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"It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head." »Sally Kempton
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"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks." »Steve Martin
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