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"Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new nickname for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname 'Fly Head'. Normally, you would think that 'Fly Head' would mean a person who had beautiful swept-back features, as if flying though the air. But think again. Couldn't it also mean 'having a head like a fly' I'm afraid some people might actually think that." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"History is indeed little more than the register of the crimes, follies and misfortunes of mankind." »Edward Gibbon
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"The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it it his head that splits." »G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy
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"I told you he had a cash register mind. Rings every time he opens his mouth." »Dennis O'Keefe
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"Life is like a cash register, in that every account, every thought, every deed, like every sale, is registered and recorded." »Fulton John Sheen
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"Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money." »Joey Bishop
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"I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to." »Yakov Smirnoff
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"Stuart Would ya look at the size of that kid's head It's the size of a planetoid and it has it's own weather system Looks like an orange on a toothpick I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik spherical but quite pointy at parts He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow." »So I Married an Axe Murderer
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"While technically I did not commit a crime, an impeachable offense... these are legalisms, as far as the handling of this matter is concerned it was so botched up, I made so many bad judgments. The worst ones, mistakes of the heart, rather than the head. But let me say, a man in that top job - he's got to have a heart, but his head must always rule his heart." »Richard Milhous Nixon
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"Nicky I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning ill get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your f***in' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what I'll split your f***in' head open again. 'Cause I'm f***in' stupid. I don't give a f*** about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." »Casino
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"If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun." »Benjamin Franklin
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"I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away." »Oscar Levant
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"What a splendid head, yet no brain." »Aesop
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"A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them." »Elbert Hubbard
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"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined." »Samuel Goldwyn
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"The blind man is laughing at the bald head." »Persian Proverb
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"The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head." »Terry Pratchett, A Discworld Novel
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"He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating." »Ayn Rand
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""Alas! I have more hair on my shoulders then on my head."" »Paul. F. Meekin
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"Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing." »Georges Jacques Danton, to his executioner
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"A hair on the head is worth two on the brush." »Irish Proverb
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"A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart." »Jonathan Swift
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"A cold in the head cause less suffering than an idea." »Jules Renard
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"My poor head is in such a whirl, my mind is all in bits." »Johann von Goethe
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""Once I had a dog that died of lead poisoning . . . I shot him in the head."" »Tom Zegan
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"Ninety percent of all mental errors are in your head." »Yogi Berra, Sports Illustrated
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"Don't rule out working with your hands. It does not preclude using your head." »Andy Rooney
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"I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. I hate necks." »Steve Martin
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"It is hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head." »Sally Kempton
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"Would that the Roman people had a single neck to cut off their head." »Caligula
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