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"Sometimes you have to be careful when selecting a new nickname for yourself. For instance, let's say you have chosen the nickname 'Fly Head'. Normally, you would think that 'Fly Head' would mean a person who had beautiful swept-back features, as if flying though the air. But think again. Couldn't it also mean 'having a head like a fly' I'm afraid some people might actually think that." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"The poet only asks to get his head into the heavens. It is the logician who seeks to get the heavens into his head. And it it his head that splits." »G.K. Chesterton, Orthodoxy
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"Don't open a shop unless you know how to smile." »Jewish Proverb
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"Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull." »H. L. Mencken
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"If I were to try to read, much less answer, all the attacks made on me, this shop might as well be closed for any other business." »Abraham Lincoln
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"I found out that when you get married the man becomes the head of the house. And the woman becomes the neck, and she turns the head any way she wants to." »Yakov Smirnoff
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"Stuart Would ya look at the size of that kid's head It's the size of a planetoid and it has it's own weather system Looks like an orange on a toothpick I'm not kidding, that boy's head is like Sputnik spherical but quite pointy at parts He'll be crying himself to sleep tonight, on his huge pillow." »So I Married an Axe Murderer
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"The probability of life originating from accident is comparable to the probability of the unabridged dictionary resulting from an explosion in a printing shop." »Edwin Conklin
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"While technically I did not commit a crime, an impeachable offense... these are legalisms, as far as the handling of this matter is concerned it was so botched up, I made so many bad judgments. The worst ones, mistakes of the heart, rather than the head. But let me say, a man in that top job - he's got to have a heart, but his head must always rule his heart." »Richard Milhous Nixon
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"It is a kind of policy in these days to prefix a fantastical title to a book which is to be sold; for as larks come down to a day-net, many vain readers will tarry and stand gazing, like silly passengers, at an antic picture in a painter?s shop that will not look at a judicious piece." »Burton
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"One of the diseases of this age is the multitude of books. It is a thriftless and a thankless occupation, this writing of books: a man were better to sing in a cobbler?s shop, for his pay is a penny a patch; but a book-writer, if he get sometimes a few commendations from the judicious, he shall be sure to reap a thousand reproaches from the malicious." »Barnaby Rich
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"I love America because America trusts me. When I go into a shop to buy a pair of shoes I am not asked to produce my Identity Card. I love it because my mail is not censored. My phone is not tapped. My conversation with friends is not reported to the secret police." »Janina Atkins
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"Nicky I think in all fairness, I should explain to you exactly what it is that I do. For instance tomorrow morning ill get up nice and early, take a walk down over to the bank and... walk in and see and uh... if you don't have my money for me, I'll... crack your f***in' head wide-open in front of everybody in the bank. And just about the time I'm comin' out of jail, hopefully, you'll be coming out of your coma. And guess what I'll split your f***in' head open again. 'Cause I'm f***in' stupid. I don't give a f*** about jail. That's my business. That's what I do." »Casino
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"In the past decade or so, the women's magazines have taken to running home-handyperson articles suggesting that women can learn to fix things just as well as men. These articles are apparently based on the ludicrous assumption that men know how to fix things, when in fact all they know how to do is look at things in a certain squinty-eyed manner, which they learned in Wood shop eventually, when enough things in the home are broken, they take a job requiring them to transfer to another home." »Dave Barry
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"If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun." »Benjamin Franklin
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"What a splendid head, yet no brain." »Aesop
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"Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined." »Samuel Goldwyn
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"I'm going to memorize your name and throw my head away." »Oscar Levant
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"A man is not paid for having a head and hands, but for using them." »Elbert Hubbard
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"Show my head to the people, it is worth seeing." »Georges Jacques Danton, to his executioner
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"He had a big head and a face so ugly it became almost fascinating." »Ayn Rand
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"A hair on the head is worth two on the brush." »Irish Proverb
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""Alas! I have more hair on my shoulders then on my head."" »Paul. F. Meekin
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"The truth may be out there, but the lies are inside your head." »Terry Pratchett, A Discworld Novel
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"A wise man should have money in his head, but not in his heart." »Jonathan Swift
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"A cold in the head cause less suffering than an idea." »Jules Renard
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"The blind man is laughing at the bald head." »Persian Proverb
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"Would that the Roman people had a single neck [to cut off their head]." »Caligula (Gaius Caesar), From Suetonius
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"Ninety percent of all mental errors are in your head." »Yogi Berra, Sports Illustrated
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"Would that the Roman people had a single neck to cut off their head." »Caligula
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