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"I, on the other hand, have a degree from the University of Life, a diploma from the School of Hard Knocks, and three gold stars from the Kindergarten of Getting the Shit Kicked Out of Me.

– Captain Edmund Blackadder, Blackadder Goes Forth

Clarence Oh there they go. There they go, every time I start talkin 'bout boxing, a white man got to pull Rocky Marciano out their ass. That's their one, that's their one. Rocky Marciano. Rocky Marciano. Let me tell you something once and for all. Rocky Marciano was good, but compared to Joe Louis, Rocky Marciano ain't shit.

– Coming to America

Jack was out kissing babies while I was out passing bills. Someone had to tend the store.

– Lyndon B. Johnson

Lee Not being able to speak is not the same as not speaking. You seem as if you like to talk. I like to let people talk who like to talk. It makes it easier to find out how full of shit they are.

– Rush Hour

One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to come up to you and show you a nice brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the Jack of Spades jump out of the deck and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not bet this man, for as sure as you are standing there, you are going to end up with an earful of cider.

– Damon Runyon

If Jack's in love, he's no judge of Jill's beauty.

– Benjamin Franklin

Ferris Cameron has never been in love -- at least, nobody's ever been in love with him. If things don't change for him, he's gonna marry the first girl he lays, and she's gonna treat him like shit, because she will have given him what he has built up in his mind as the end-all, be-all of human existence. She won't respect him, 'cause you can't respect somebody who kisses your ass. It just doesn't work.

– Ferris Bueller's Day Off

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

– John Bay

For a while I thought history was something bitter old men wrote. But Jack loved history so ... for Jack history was full of heroes.

– Jacqueline Lee Bouvier Kennedy Onassis

I always remember an epitaph which is in the cemetery at Tombstone, Arizona. It says 'Here lies Jack Williams. He done his damnedest.' I think that is the greatest epitaph a man can have - When he gives everything that is in him to do the job he has before him. That is all you can ask of him and that is what I have tried to do.

– Harry S Truman

I always remember an epitaph which is in the cemetery at Tombstone, Arizona. It says 'Here lies Jack Williams. He done his damnedest.' I think that is the greatest epitaph a man can have.

– Harry S Truman

I thought they'd get one of us, but Jack, after all he's been through, never worried about it ... I thought it would be me.

– Robert Francis Kennedy

If I were to select a jack-booted group of fascists who are perhaps as large a danger to American society as I could pick today, I would pick BATF.

– John Dingell

No doubt Jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was human nature.

– A.A. Milne

Ricky See thats what I'm talking about bobby, first class. You've got to get used to this my man, you deserve it. Hey ladies, you missed out on staying at the SoHo Grand on this trip you know what I mean. Listen, I'd offer you a ride in my limo, but I got to stretch my shit out. I'm a tall drink of water, don't want to wrinkle anything.

– Made

Slater Didja ever look at a dollar bill man There's some spooky shit goin' on there. And it's green too.

– Dazed and Confused

Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch A jack-o'-lantern with a knife in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that, I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done.

– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

The honor of my race, family and self is at stake. Everyone is expecting me to do big things. I will. My whole body and soul are to be thrown recklessly about the field. Every time the ball is snapped, I will be trying to do more than my part...Fight low, with your eyes open and toward the play. Watch out for crossbucks and reverse end runs. Be on your toes every minute if you expect to make good. Jack.

– Jack Trice

Tracy I swore 37 times in the last month. I said the 'f-word' a couple of times, but it was mostly 'shit's and 'bastard's. Is 'douche bag' a curse Graham I suppose it would depend on the context. Tracy How about John you're a douche bag for kissing Barbara Graham It's a curse. Tracy Oh, well then it's not 37 times it's 71 times.

– Signs

When shit becomes valuable, the poor will be born without assholes.

– Henry Miller

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