| "A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke and that the joke is oneself." »Clifton Paul Fadiman |
| "Harrison Ford as the President of the United States in Air Force One is such a perfect piece of casting that it's once a fantasy and a joke The joke is how perfect the fantasy is." »Owen Gleiberman |
| "When Rick told me he was having trouble with his wife, I had to laugh. Not because of what he said, but because of a joke I thought of. I told him the joke, but he didn't laugh very much. Some friend HE is." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "With Congress, every time they make a joke it's a law, and every time they make a law it's a joke." »Will Rogers |
| "Housekeeping ain't no joke." »Louisa May Alcott |
| "The gods too are fond of a joke." »Aristotle |
| "He who laughs last is generally the last to get the joke." »Terry Cohen |
| "The crisis of today is the joke of tomorrow." »H. G. Wells |
| "It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it." »Gilbert Keith Chesterton |
| "If theres one thing I know its God does love a good joke." »Hugh Elliott |
| "My way of joking is to tell the truth. It is the funniest joke in the world." »George Bernard Shaw |
| "My way of joking is to tell the truth. It's the funniest joke in the world." »Sir Walter Besant |
| "Life is a joke. The only way to survive it is to find the right punchline." »Becky Alunan |
| "Eternity is a mere moment, just long enough for a joke." »Hermann Hesse |
| "A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents." »G. C. Lichtenberg |
| "It is the ability to take a joke, not make one, that proves you have a sense of humor." »Max Eastman |
| "Some people are so dry that you might soak them in a joke for a month and it would not get through their skins." »Henry Ward Beecher |
| "The aim of a joke is not to degrade the human being but to remind him that he is already degraded." »George Orwell |
| "Life is God's joke on us. It's our mission to figure out the punchline." »John Guarrine |
| "If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "Humor is always based on a modicum of truth. Have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law" »Dick Clark |
| "My life has been one great big joke A dance that's walked A song that's spoke, I laugh so hard I almost choke When I think about myself." »Maya Angelou |
| "There are certain queer times and occasions in this strange mixed affair we call life when a man takes the whole universe for a vast practical joke." »Herman Melville |
| "A taste for irony has kept more hearts from breaking than a sense of humor, for it takes irony to appreciate the joke which is on oneself." »Jessamyn West |
| "A new idea is delicate. It can be killed by a sneer or a yawn it can be stabbed to death by a joke or worried to death by a frown on the right person's brow." »Charles Hendrickson Brower |
| "Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake Straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go 'Whoa Whoa' and flail your arms around, like you're going to fall in." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "It's probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you're talking to the president, because what if he tells a funny joke and you laugh so hard you spit the toothpick out and it hits him in the face or something." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "As we were driving, we saw a sign that said 'Watch For Rocks.' Marta said it should read 'Watch For PRETTY Rocks.' I told her she should write in her suggestion to the highway department, but she started saying it was a joke---just to get out of writing a simple letter And I thought I was lazy" »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "A funny thing is if you're out hiking and your friend gets bit by a poisonous snake, tell him you're going for help, then go about ten feet and pretend YOU got bit by a snake. Then start an argument about who's going to get help. A lot of guys will start crying. That's why it makes you feel good when you tell them it was just a joke." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "I wish I lived back in the Old West days, because I'd save up my money for about twenty years so I could buy a solid-gold pick. Then I'd go out west and start digging for gold. When someone came up and asked what I was doing, I'd say, 'Looking for gold, ya durn fool.' He'd say, 'Your pick is gold.' And I'd say, 'well, that was easy.' Good joke, huh" »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
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