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"Billy T-T-T-T-Today, Junior" »Billy Madison
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"Happy During high school, I played junior hockey and still hold two league records most time spent in the penalty box and I was the only guy to ever take off his skate and try to stab somebody." »Happy Gilmore
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"The junior senator from Wisconsin, by his reckless charges, has so preyed upon the fears and hatreds and prejudices of the American people that he has started a prairie fire which neither he nor anyone else may be able to control." »William Fullbright
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"All of us learn to write in the second grade. Most of us go on to greater things." »Bobby Knight
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"Education is a method whereby one acquires a higher grade of prejudices." »Laurence J. Peter
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"I'm never going to be a movie star. But then, in all probability, Liz Taylor is never going to teach first and second grade." »Mary J. Wilson
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"Everyone has the brainpower to follow the stock market. If you made it through fifth-grade math, you can do it." »Peter Lynch
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"Grade school is the snooze button on the clock-radio of life." »John Rogers
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"Describing her first day back in grade school after a long absence, a teacher said, It was like trying to hold 35 corks under water at the same time." »Mark Twain
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"It is a mistake to regard age as a downhill grade toward dissolution. The reverse is true. As one grows older, one climbs with surprising strides." »George Sand
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"They say the seeds of what we will do are in all of us, but it always seemed to me that in those who make jokes in life the seeds are covered with better soil and with a higher grade of manure." »Ernest Hemingway
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"A student is not a professional athlete. ... He is not a little politician or junior senator looking for angles ... an amateur promoter, a glad-hander, embryo Rotarian, caf-society leader, quiz kid or man about town. A student is a person who is learning to fulfill his powers and to find ways of using them in the service of mankind." »Harold Taylor
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"The first time I shot the hook, I was in fourth grade, and I was about five feet eight inches tall. I put the ball up and felt totally at ease with the shot. I was completely confident it would go in and I've been shooting it ever since." »Kareem Abdul-Jabar
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"After several minutes of utterly dull conversation I began to think of her not as a woman but as a human, then not as a human but as an animal, then not as an animal but as a source of high-grade protein." »Mark Gooley
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"Life is an error-making and an error-correcting process, and nature in marking man's papers will grade him for wisdom as measured both by survival and by the quality of life of those who survive." »Dr. Jonas Salk
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"Ace The town will never be the same. After the Tangiers, the big corporations took it all over. Today it looks like Disneyland. And while the kids play cardboard pirates, Mommy and Daddy drop the house payments and Junior's college money on the poker slots. In the old days, dealers knew your name, what you drank, what you played. Today, it's like checkin' into an airport. And if you order room service, you're lucky if you get it by Thursday. Today, it's all gone. You get a whale show up with four million in a suitcase, and some twenty-five-year-old hotel school kid is gonna want his Social Security Number. After the Teamsters got knocked out of the box, the corporations tore down practically every one of the old casinos. And where did the money come from to rebuild the pyramids Junk bonds. But in the end, I wound up right back where I started. I could still pick winners, and I could still make money for all kinds of people back home. And why mess up a good thing" »Casino
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"Dr. Evil The details of my life are quite inconsequential... very well, where do I begin My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it." »Austin Powers International Man of Mystery
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| BTW, Why won't you become an editor? |
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