| "Finley is going over to get a new piece of bat." »Jerry Coleman |
| "The way he's swinging the bat, he won't get a hit until the 20th century." »Jerry Coleman |
| "Once when I was in Hawaii, on the island of Kauai, I met a mysterious old stranger. He said he was about to die and wanted to tell someone about the treasure. I said, 'Okay, as long as it's not a long story. Some of us have a plane to catch, you know.' He stared telling his story, about the treasure and his life and all, and I thought 'This story isn't too long.' But then, he kept going, and I started thinking, 'Uh-oh, this story is getting long.' But then the story was over, and I said to myself 'You know, that story wasn't too long after all.' I forget what the story was about, but there was a good movie on the plane. It was a little long, though." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "I daresay one profits more by the mistakes one makes off one's own bat than by doing the right thing on somebody's else advice." »W. Somerset Maugham |
| "The Joker What kind of a world is this where a man dressed as a bat gets ALL MY PRESS This town needs an enema" »Batman |
| "I have no expectation of making a hit every time I come to bat. What I seek is the highest possible batting average." »Franklin Delano Roosevelt |
| "I don't say that the bird is 'good' or the bat is 'bad.' But I will say this At least the bird is less nude." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if it keeps up, I change bats. After all, if I know it isn't my fault that I'm not hitting, how can I get mad at myself" »Lawrence Peter Berra |
| "Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let's say you're an astronaut on the moon and you fear that your partner has been turned into Dracula. The next time he goes out for the moon pieces, wham, you just slam the door behind him and blast off. He might call you on the radio and say he's not Dracula, but you just say, 'Think again, bat man.'" »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "So long as we love we serve so long as we are loved by others, I would almost say that we are indespensable and no man is useless while he has a friend." »Robert Louis Stephenson |
| "Times of luxury do not last long, but pass away very quickly nothing in this world can be long enjoyed." »Buddha |
| "There are two kinds of people in this world, those who long to be understood and those who long to be misunderstood. It is the irony of life that neither is gratified." »Carl Van Vechten |
| "All we have of freedom -- all we use or know -- This our fathers bought for us, long and long ago." »Rudyard Kipling |
| "Not that the story need be long, but it will take a long while to make it short." »Henry David Thoreau |
| "Humor is, I think, the subtlest and chanciest of literary forms. It is surely not accidental that there are a thousand novelists, essayists, poets or journalists for each humorist. It is a long, long time between James Thurbers." »Leo C. Rosten |
| "Never say never, for if you live long enough, chances are you will not be able to abide by its restrictions. Never is a long, undependable time, and life is too full of rich possibilities to have restrictions placed upon it." »Gloria Swanson |
| "You've got to love what you're doing. If you love it, you can overcome any handicap or the soreness or all the aches and pains, and continue to play for a long, long time." »Gordie Howe |
| "Let me tell you I am better acquainted with you for a long absence, as men are with themselves for a long affliction absence does but hold off a friend, to make one see him the truer." »Alexander Pope |
| "We can drink soup with a fork, it will only take long time! As long as we are patient, we can drink it even with a tiny pin!" »Mehmet Murat ildan |
| "The mind is the limit. As long as the mind can envision the fact that you can do something, you can do it-as long as you really believe 100 percent." »Arnold Schwarzenegger |
| "Long hair is considered bohemian, which may be why I grew it, but I keep it long because I love the way it feels, part cloak, part fan, part mane, part security blanket." »Marge Piercy |
| "Courage changes things for the better...With courage you can stay with something long enough to succeed at it, realizing that it usually takes two, three or four times as long to succeed as you thought or hoped." »Earl Nightingale |
| "Men do not care how nobly they live, but only how long, although it is within the reach of every man to live nobly, but within no man's power to live long." »Seneca |
| "An idealist believes the short run doesn't count. A cynic believes the long run doesn't matter. A realist believes that what is done or left undone in the short run determines the long run." »Sydney Harris |
| "What I still ask for daily - for life as long as I have work to do, and work as long as I have life." »Reynolds Price |
| "Welcome anything that comes to you, but do not long for anything else." »Andr Gide |
| "Be brief, for no discourse can please when too long." »Miguel de Cervantes |
| "Progress might have been all right once, but it has gone on too long." »Ogden Nash |
| "We can do anything we want to if we stick to it long enough." »Helen Keller |
| "I don't care what anybody says about me as long as it isn't true." »Truman Capote |
| New: We also know Zip Codes FYI! |
