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"I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"Contrary to popular belief, the most dangerous animal is not the lion or tiger or even the elephant. The most dangerous animal is a shark riding on an elephant, just trampling and eating everything they see." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"Most of those who make collections of verse or epigram are like men eating cherries or oysters they choose out the best at first, and end by eating all." »Sbastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort
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"Eating while seated makes one of large size eating while standing makes one strong." »Hindustani Proverb
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"There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool." »L. M. Boyd
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"Not eating meat is a decision, eating meat is an instinct." »Denis Leary, No Cure for Cancer
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"Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING" »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"There is no fire like passion; there is no shark like hatred; there is no snare like folly; there is no torrent like greed." »The Dhammapada
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"The proof of the pudding is in the eating." »Miguel de Cervantes
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"Eating without conversation is only stoking." »Marcelene Cox
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"Eating and scratching want but a beginning." »Romanian Proverb
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"You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans." »Ronald Reagan
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"How to Raise your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children" »Lewis B. Frumkes
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"I had a dream last night that a hamburger was eating ME!" »Jerry Seinfeld, Seinfeld episode "The Van Buren Boys" - broadcast on February 6, 1997
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"Appetizers are the little things you keep eating until you lose your appetite." »Joe Moore
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""I'd be a Vegetarian if I didn't have to give up eating meat."" »Tom Zegan
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"When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them." »Chinese Proverb
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"Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity." »Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire
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"Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive." »Wallace Irwin
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"Playing football in the morning is like eating cabbage for breakfast." »Pressbox Maxim
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"American soldiers must be turned into lambs and eating them is tolerated." »Muammar Qaddafi
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"It is not enough to offer a smorgasbord of courses. We must insure that students are not just eating at one end of the table." »A Bartlett Giamatti
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"Life is eating us up. We shall be fables presently. Keep cool it will be all one a hundred years hence." »Ralph Waldo Emerson
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"If you are ever at a loss to support a flagging conversation, introduce the subject of eating." »Leigh Hunt
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"If men do not keep on speaking terms with children, they cease to be men, and become merely machines for eating and earning money." »John Updike
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"If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." »Johnny Carson
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"To be always intending to live a new life, but never find time to set about it - this is as if a man should put off eating and drinking from one day to another till he be starved and destroyed." »Sir Walter Scott
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"A nuclear power plant is infinently safer than eating, because 300 people choke to death on food every year." »Dixie Lee Ray
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"The Establishment center ... has led us into the stupidest and cruelest war in all history. That war is a moral and political disaster -- a terrible cancer eating away at the soul of our nation." »George McGovern
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"If you're traveling in a time machine, and you're eating corn on the cob, I don't think it's going to affect things one way or the other. But here's the point I'm trying to make Corn on the cob is good, isn't it." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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