| "I wouldn't be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut it open, and there inside was a whole person. Then they cut the person open, and in him is a little baby shark. And in the baby shark there isn't a person, because it would be too small. But there's a little doll or something, like a Johnny Combat little toy guy---something like that." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "Contrary to popular belief, the most dangerous animal is not the lion or tiger or even the elephant. The most dangerous animal is a shark riding on an elephant, just trampling and eating everything they see." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "Most of those who make collections of verse or epigram are like men eating cherries or oysters they choose out the best at first, and end by eating all." »Sbastien-Roch Nicolas de Chamfort |
| "Eating while seated makes one of large size eating while standing makes one strong." »Hindustani Proverb |
| "When eating bamboo sprouts, remember the man who planted them." »Chinese Proverb |
| "There are 350 varieties of shark, not counting loan and pool." »L. M. Boyd |
| "Probably to a shark, about the funniest thing there is is a wounded seal, trying to swim to shore, because WHERE DOES HE THINK HE'S GOING" »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "A man who is eating or lying with his wife or preparing to go to sleep in humility, thankfulness and temperance, is, by Christian standards, in an infinitely higher state than one who is listening to Bach or reading Plato in a state of pride." »Clive Staples Lewis |
| "Eating and scratching want but a beginning." »Romanian Proverb |
| "The proof of the pudding is in the eating." »Miguel de Cervantes |
| "How to Raise your I.Q. by Eating Gifted Children" »Lewis B. Frumkes |
| "Appetizers are the little things you keep eating until you lose your appetite." »Joe Moore |
| "You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans." »Ronald Reagan |
| "American soldiers must be turned into lambs and eating them is tolerated." »Muammar Qaddafi |
| "Playing football in the morning is like eating cabbage for breakfast." »Pressbox Maxim |
| "Statistics show that of those who contract the habit of eating, very few survive." »Wallace Irwin |
| "Life is eating us up. We shall be fables presently. Keep cool it will be all one a hundred years hence." »Ralph Waldo Emerson |
| "If you are ever at a loss to support a flagging conversation, introduce the subject of eating." »Leigh Hunt |
| "Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity." »Francois Marie Arouet Voltaire |
| "If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners." »Johnny Carson |
| "It is not enough to offer a smorgasbord of courses. We must insure that students are not just eating at one end of the table." »A Bartlett Giamatti |
| "A nuclear power plant is infinently safer than eating, because 300 people choke to death on food every year." »Dixie Lee Ray |
| "If men do not keep on speaking terms with children, they cease to be men, and become merely machines for eating and earning money." »John Updike |
| "Miserable mortals who, like leaves, at one moment flame with life, eating the produce of the land, and at another moment weakly perish." »Homer |
| "The Establishment center ... has led us into the stupidest and cruelest war in all history. That war is a moral and political disaster -- a terrible cancer eating away at the soul of our nation." »George McGovern |
| "Women with body image or eating disorders are not a special category, just more extreme in their response to a culture that emphasizes thinness and impossible standards of appearance for women instead of individuality and health." »Gloria Steinem |
| "If you're traveling in a time machine, and you're eating corn on the cob, I don't think it's going to affect things one way or the other. But here's the point I'm trying to make Corn on the cob is good, isn't it." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing. I wove my webs for you because I liked you. After all, what's a life, anyway We're born, we live a little while, we die. A spider's life can't help being something of a mess, with all this trapping and eating flies. By helping you, perhaps I was trying to lift up my life a trifle. Heaven knows anyone's life can stand a little of that." »E. B. White |
| "If you're at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you're out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, 'Boy, these are good cigars'" »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "Greetings on this most exceedingly beautiful spring morning. A morning swollen with new life, a morning on which, if I had the voice, I would let loose with song. It's hard to believe just a few short weeks ago we were eating our cornflakes in the wintery dark. Now, well it's still kind of dim out there, but I can see the golden glow of Apollo's chariot waiting in the wings, about to make its entrance. Winter's on the lam, no doubt." »Andrew Schneider |
| New: We also know Zip Codes FYI! |
