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"No one and nothing outside of you can give you salvation, or free you from the misery. You have to light your own lamp. You have to know the miniature universe that you yourself are." »Banani Ray
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"Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun." »Matt Groening
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"Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig, then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun." »Matt Groening
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"Live.....Laugh.....golf" »Kathryn Schaefer Plaum
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"It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do." »Unknown
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"They say golf is not a contact sport. Not the way we play it." »Alice Cooper, BBC6 Radio, The Bruce Dickinson show
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"golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at." »Jimmy Demaret
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"golf isn't a game, it's a choice that one makes with one's life." »Charles Rosin
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"Foster golf club and cemetery - Only one stroke away from each other..." »David Helyar
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"The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf." »Will Rogers
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"I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles." »G.K. Chesterton
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"golf is like a love affair if you don't take it seriously, it's no fun. If you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart." »Arnold Daly
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"If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play at it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf." »Bob Hope
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"Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"It took me seventeen years to get 3,000 hits in baseball. I did it in one afternoon on the golf course." »Hank Aaron
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"The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has." »Will Rogers
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"A golf course is the epitome of all that is transitory in the universe, a space not to dwell in, but to get over as quickly as possible." »Jean Giraudoux
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"golf is a game in which you claim the privileges of age, and retain the playthings of childhood." »Samuel Johnson
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"It is nothing new or original to say that golf is played one stroke at a time. But it took me many years to realize it." »Bobby Jones
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"If I had my way, any man guilty of golf would be ineligible for any office of trust in the United States." »H. L. Mencken
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"It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf." »H.L. Mencken
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"The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf." »Bertrand Russell
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"golf may be played on Sunday, not being a game within the view of the law, but being a form of moral effort." »Stephen Leacock
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"golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose." »Winston Churchill
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"golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around." »Rick Reilly
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"Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it's open to anybody who owns hideous clothing." »Dave Barry
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"And the wind shall say Here were decent godless people. Their only monument the asphalt road. And a thousand lost golf balls." »T. S. Eliot
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"Happy golf requires goofy pants and a fat ass. You should talk to my neighbor the accountant. Probably a great golfer. Huge ass." »Happy Gilmore
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"golf is very much like a love affair, if you don't take it seriously, it's no fun, if you do, it breaks your heart. Don't break your heart, but flirt with the possibility." »Louise Suggs
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"Mary I want a guy who can play 36 holes of golf, and still have enough energy to take Warren and me to a baseball game, and eat sausages, and beer, not lite beer, but beer. That's my ad, print it up." »There's Something About Mary
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| BTW, Why won't you become an editor? |
