| "There should be a detective show called 'Johnny monkey,' because every week you could have a guy say 'I ain't gonna get caught by no monkey,' but then he would, and I don't think I'd ever get tired of that." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "It is not so important to be serious as it is to be serious about the important things. The monkey wears an expression of seriousness which would do credit to any college student, but the monkey is serious because he itches." »Robert Hutchins |
| "I remember being handed a score composed by Mozart at the age of eleven. What could I say I felt like de Kooning, who was asked to comment on a certain abstract painting, and answered in the negative. He was then told it was the work of a celebrated monkey. 'That's different. For a monkey, it's terrific.'" »Igor Stravinsky |
| "Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh There's so little hope for advancement." »Charles M. Schulz |
| "My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to 99 cents a can. That's almost 7.00 in dog money." »Joe Weinstein |
| "You can say any fool thing to a dog, and the dog will give you this look that says, My God, you're RIGHT I NEVER would've thought of that'" »Dave Barry |
| "Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read." »Groucho Marx |
| "Instead of a Seeing Eye dog, what about a gun It's cheaper than a dog, plus if you walk around shooting all the time people are going to get out of the way. Cars, too" »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man." »Mark Twain |
| "A reasonable amount o' fleas is good fer a dog-keeps him from broodin' over bein' a dog, mebbe." »Edward Noyes Westcott |
| "In Washington, it's dog eat dog. In academia, it's exactly the opposite." »Robert Reich |
| "The dog has seldom been successful in pulling man up to its level of sagacity, but man has frequently dragged the dog down to his." »James Grover Thurber |
| "If you're a circus clown, and you have a dog that you use in your act, I don't think it's a good idea to also dress the dog up like a clown, because people see that and they think, 'Forgive me, but that's just too much.'" »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts |
| "A bone to the dog is not charity. Charity is the bone shared with the dog, when you are just as hungry as the dog." »Jack London |
| "The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him." »Robert Benchley |
| "The factory of the future will have two employees a man and a dog. The man's job will be to feed the dog. The dog's job will be to prevent the man from touching any of the automated equipment." »Warren Bennis |
| "Writer is a monkey, jumping from one tree to another in the jungle of words." »Mehmet Murat ildan |
| "Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room." »Winston Churchill |
| "What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight - it's the size of the fight in the dog." »Dwight D Eisenhower |
| "What counts is not necessarily the size of the dog in the fight, what counts is the size of the fight in the dog." »Mark Twain |
| "On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog." »Peter Steiner |
| "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog." »Mark Twain |
| "It's not the size of the dog in the fight, but the size of the fight in the dog." »Archie Griffin |
| "The dog wags his tail, not for you, but for your bread." »Portuguese Proverb |
| "One dog barks at something, the rest bark at him." »Chinese Proverb |
| "When a dog bites a man that is not news, but when a man bites a dog that is news." »Charles A. Dana |
| "Be on your guard against a silent dog and still water." »Latin Proverb |
| "When a dog bites a man, that is not news, because it happens so often. But if a man bites a dog, that is news." »John B. Bogart |
| "A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself." »Josh Billings |
| "Get a good idea and stay with it. dog it, and work at it until it's done right." »Walt Disney |
| New: We also know Zip Codes FYI! |
