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"A lady came up to me on the street and pointed to my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for that jacket' she sneered. I replied in a psychotic tone, 'I didn't know there were any witnesses. Now I'll have to kill you too.'" »Jake Johanson
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"There should be a detective show called 'Johnny monkey,' because every week you could have a guy say 'I ain't gonna get caught by no monkey,' but then he would, and I don't think I'd ever get tired of that." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"You cut the jacket to fit the person, you do not cut the person to fit the jacket. Do not imitate the strategies of your competitors or blindly implement industry best practices. The Leader of an organization must analyze the situation and customize the business plans to fit the organization's position." »Med Jones
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"I remember being handed a score composed by Mozart at the age of eleven. What could I say I felt like de Kooning, who was asked to comment on a certain abstract painting, and answered in the negative. He was then told it was the work of a celebrated monkey. 'That's different. For a monkey, it's terrific.'" »Igor Stravinsky
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"It is not so important to be serious as it is to be serious about the important things. The monkey wears an expression of seriousness which would do credit to any college student, but the monkey is serious because he itches." »Robert Hutchins
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"A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard words bruise the heart of a child." »Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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"A torn jacket is soon mended but hard words bruise the heart of a child." »Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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"The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him." »Robert Benchley
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"Democracy is the art of running the circus from the monkey cage." »H. L. Mencken
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"An American monkey after getting drunk on Brandy would never touch it again, and thus is much wiser than most men." »Charles Darwin
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"Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room." »Winston Churchill
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"Writer is a monkey, jumping from one tree to another in the jungle of words." »Mehmet Murat ildan
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""Attention, attention, there are monkey-boys in the complex." »Buckaroo Banzai (the film)
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"An ant can't make a revolution, but a monkey can do; because it owns a fist! No real revolution is ever possible without fist." »Mehmet Murat ildan
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"I don't mind if, according to the Law of Evolution, my grand grand grand etc. father is a monkey,but I do mind if he is a hyena or a jackal!" »Mehmet Murat ildan
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