|
"For a while I thought history was something bitter old men wrote. But jack loved history so ... for jack history was full of heroes." »Jacqueline Lee Bouvier Kennedy Onassis
|
|
"All work and no play makes jack a dull boy." »John Bay
|
|
"If Jack's in love, he's no judge of Jill's beauty." »Benjamin Franklin
|
|
"jack was out kissing babies while I was out passing bills. Someone had to tend the store." »Lyndon B. Johnson
|
|
"No doubt jack the Ripper excused himself on the grounds that it was human nature." »A.A. Milne
|
|
"I'd better get off the phone now, I've already told you more than I heard myself." »Loretta Lockhorn
|
|
"If the phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me" »Jimmy Buffett
|
|
"Communism is like one big phone company." »Lenny Bruce
|
|
"All phone calls are obscene." »Karen Elizabeth Gordon
|
|
"I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know." »Garry Shandling
|
|
"I wouldn't trust Nixon from here to that phone." »Barry Goldwater
|
|
"Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?" »James Thurber, New Yorker cartoon caption, June 5, 1937
|
|
"All that Hubert needs over there is a gal to answer the phone and a pencil with an eraser on it." »Lyndon B. Johnson
|
|
"Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone" »James Grover Thurber
|
|
"The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5'7, it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone." »Woody Allen
|
|
"I'm very curious to know what the hell they're saying on the phone, but I'd be more worried if they weren't talking." »Kingman Brewster, Jr.
|
|
"Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you." »Fran Lebowitz
|
|
"For three days after death hair and fingernails continue to grow but phone calls taper off." »Johnny Carson
|
|
"I always remember an epitaph which is in the cemetery at Tombstone, Arizona. It says 'Here lies jack Williams. He done his damnedest.' I think that is the greatest epitaph a man can have - When he gives everything that is in him to do the job he has before him. That is all you can ask of him and that is what I have tried to do." »Harry S Truman
|
|
"I always remember an epitaph which is in the cemetery at Tombstone, Arizona. It says 'Here lies jack Williams. He done his damnedest.' I think that is the greatest epitaph a man can have." »Harry S Truman
|
|
"If I were to select a jack-booted group of fascists who are perhaps as large a danger to American society as I could pick today, I would pick BATF." »John Dingell
|
|
"The phone company handles 84 billion calls a year --- everything from kings, queens, and presidents to the scum of the earth." »Lilly Tomlin, as Ernestine the Operator
|
|
"It seemed to me that, somehow, the blue jay was trying to communicate with me. I would see him fly into the house across the way, pick up the telephone, and dial. My phone would ring, and it would be him, but it was just this squawking and cheeping. 'What What' I would yell back, but he never did speak English." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
|
|
"A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often - just to save it from drying out completely." »Pam Brown
|
|
"I thought they'd get one of us, but jack, after all he's been through, never worried about it ... I thought it would be me." »Robert Francis Kennedy
|
|
"Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm myself down. I'll go over to the person's house and ring the doorbell. When the person comes to the door, I'm gone, but you know what I've left on the porch A jack-o'-lantern with a knife in the side of its head with a note that says 'You.' After that, I usually feel a lot better, and no harm done." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
|
|
"One of these days in your travels, a guy is going to come up to you and show you a nice brand-new deck of cards on which the seal is not yet broken, and this guy is going to offer to bet you that he can make the jack of Spades jump out of the deck and squirt cider in your ear. But, son, do not bet this man, for as sure as you are standing there, you are going to end up with an earful of cider." »Damon Runyon
|
|
"If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make, who would you call and what would you say And why are you waiting" »Stephen Levine
|
|
"She gave me more than just a sweater vest that night. She gave me all this. Nothing. She gave me nothing. That's what I need. No phone book, no Game Boy, no pasta maker, TV Guide. Nowhere to go, nothing to do." »Andrew Schneider
|
|
"The honor of my race, family and self is at stake. Everyone is expecting me to do big things. I will. My whole body and soul are to be thrown recklessly about the field. Every time the ball is snapped, I will be trying to do more than my part...Fight low, with your eyes open and toward the play. Watch out for crossbucks and reverse end runs. Be on your toes every minute if you expect to make good. jack." »Jack Trice
|
| New: We also know Zip Codes FYI! |
