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"A boy is a magical creature you can lock him out of your workshop, but you can't lock him out of your heart. You can get him out of your study, but you can't get him out of your mind. Might as well give up he is your captor, your jailer, your boss and your master a freckled-faced, pint-sized, cat-chasing bundle of noise. But when you come home at night with only the shattered pieces of your hopes and dreams, he can mend them like new with two magic words Hi, Dad" »Alan Marshall Beck
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"My girlfriend sleeps in a queen-sized bed and I sleep in a court jester-sized bed." »Steven Wright, I Have a Pony
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"Plant a kernel of wheat and you reap a pint; plant a pint and you reap a bushel. Always the law works to give you back more than you give." »Anthony Norvell
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"Every man should keep a fair-sized cemetery in which to bury the faults of his friends." »Henry Ward Beecher
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"A pint of sweat, saves a gallon of blood." »George Smith Patton, Jr.
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"Every now and then when your life gets complicated and the weasels start closing in, the only cure is to load up on heinous chemicals and then drive like a bastard from Hollywood to Las Vegas ... with the music at top volume and at least a pint of ether." »H.S. Thompson
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