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"Happy Son of a bitch ball. Why can't you go home Aren't you good enough for your home Answer me. Suck my white ass ball." »Happy Gilmore
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"If you're at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don't like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you're eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you're out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, 'Boy, these are good cigars'" »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"The only real power comes out of a long rifle." »Joseph Stalin
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"The National rifle Association are the gun nuts of the world." »Cecil Andrus
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"A vote is like a rifle: its usefulness depends upon the character of the user." »Theodore Roosevelt
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"No matter how nice the company one might be with, however, it is never pleasant to have a rifle pointed at one's back." »Meg Cabot
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"To become oneself, with all one's strength. Difficult. A bomb, a speech, a rifle shot -- and the world can look a different place. And then where is this self" »Christa Wolf
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"A quotation in a speech, article or book is like a rifle in the hands of an infantryman. It speaks with authority." »Brendan Francis
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"Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope." »P. J. O'Rourke
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"By the time you get to your ball, if you don't know what to do with it, try another sport." »Julius Boros
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"Do you know what happens when you slice a golf ball in half Someone gets mad at you. I found this out the hard way." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"I just wrap my arms around the whole backfield and peel 'em one by one until I get to the ball carrier. Him I keep." »Big Daddy Lipscomb
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"These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow." »Sam Snead
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"If thou art a man, speak not much about thine own manliness, for not every champion driveth the ball to the goal." »Sa?di
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"The more weakness the more falsehood; strength goes straight: every cannon ball that has in it hollows and holes goes crooked." »Richter
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"The first pitch to Tucker Ashford is grounded into left field. No, wait a minute. It's ball one. Low and outside." »Jerry Coleman
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"Properly, we should read for power. Man reading should be man intensely alive. The book should be a ball of light in one's hand." »Ezra Pound
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"Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into a even smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill- designed for the purpose." »Winston Churchill
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"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary." »James Nicoll
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"When I played ball, I didn't play for fun. . . . It's no pink tea, and mollycoddles had better stay out. It's a contest and everything that implies, a struggle for supremacy, a survival of the fittest." »Ty Cobb
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"A good man may fall, but he falls like a ball [and rebounds]; the ignoble man falls like a lump of clay." »Bhartrihari
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"There's a deep fly ball... Winfield goes back, back... his head hits the wall ... it's rolling towards second base." »Jerry Coleman
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"Just take the ball and throw it where you want to. Throw strikes. Home plate don't move." »Satchel Paige
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"The first time I shot the hook, I was in fourth grade, and I was about five feet eight inches tall. I put the ball up and felt totally at ease with the shot. I was completely confident it would go in and I've been shooting it ever since." »Kareem Abdul-Jabar
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"Prince Akeem Oh, it was a most amazing game. The Giants of New York took on the Packers of Green Bay. The Giants triumphed by kicking a pigskin ball through a big H. A most ripping victory. Cleo McDowell Son... I'm just going to tell you this one time. If you want to keep working here, stay off the drugs." »Coming to America
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"When you control the ball, you control the score." »Pele
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"Free speech is the whole thing, the whole ball game. Free speech is life itself." »David Mamet
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"The honor of my race, family and self is at stake. Everyone is expecting me to do big things. I will. My whole body and soul are to be thrown recklessly about the field. Every time the ball is snapped, I will be trying to do more than my part...Fight low, with your eyes open and toward the play. Watch out for crossbucks and reverse end runs. Be on your toes every minute if you expect to make good. Jack." »Jack Trice
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"Hither the heroes and nymphs resort,To taste awhile the pleasures of a courtIn various talk th'instuctive hours they past,Who gave the ball, or paid the visit lastOne speaks the glory of the British Queen,And one describes a charming Indian screenlA third interprets motions, looks and eyesAt every word a reputation dies." »Alexander Pope
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"If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base." »Dave Barry
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