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"Many people do not realize that the snowshoe can be used for a great many things besides walking on snow. For instance, it can be used to carry pancakes from the stove to the breakfast table. Also, it can be used to carry uneaten pancakes from the table to the garbage. Finally, it can be used as a kind of stainer, where you force pancakes through the strings to see if a piece of gold got in a pancake somehow." »Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
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"My friend Harry just sent me a toilet seat for my birthday. I am not sure what he is trying to tell me!
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"Today you can go to a gas station and find the cash register open and the toilets locked. They must think toilet paper is worth more than money." »Joey Bishop
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"In Marseilles they make half the toilet soap we consume in America, but the Marseillaise only have a vague theoretical idea of its use, which they have obtained from books of travel." »Mark Twain
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"It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper." »Rod Serling
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"The billiard table is better than the doctor." »Mark Twain
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"Do not speak of repulsive matters at table." »Amy Vanderbilt
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"Spread the table and contention will cease." »English Proverb
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"Who depends on another man's table often dines late." »Italian Proverb
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"She was a woman who, between courses, could be graceful with her elbows on the table." »Henry James
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"CHRIS What's art, Holling Is a Davinci art Dada art If you wrap up the whole Reichstag in toilet paper, is that art HOLLING Well, I can't give you a complete definition, but I think it would be something Maurice would be willing to give good money for. CHRIS Yeah, well, you're starting to scare me cause if that's art, then I got to get a whole new gig." »Jeff Melvoin
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"Evil is unspectacular and always human, and shores our bed and eats at our own table." »Herman Melville, Moby Dick
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"All great change in America begins at the dinner table." »Ronald Reagan
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"I have a dream that one day ... the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table of brotherhood." »Martin Luther King, Jr.
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"People who insist on telling their dreams are among the terrors of the breakfast table." »Max Beerbohm
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"Sit not down to the table before thy stomach is empty, and rise before thou hast filled it." »Arabic Proverb
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"It is not enough to offer a smorgasbord of courses. We must insure that students are not just eating at one end of the table." »A Bartlett Giamatti
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"Why you may take the most gallant sailor, the most intrepid airman, and th most audacious soldier, put them at a table together-and what do you get? The sum of their fears." »Winston Churchill
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"Why, you may take the most gallant sailor, the most intrepid airman or the most audacious soldier, put them at a table together- what do you get? The sum of all fears." »Winston Churchill, The Sum of All Fears by Tom Clancy
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"True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table luckiest is he who knows just when to rise and go home." »John Hay
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"True luck consists not in holding the best of the cards at the table; luckiest is he who knows just when to rise and go home." »John Hay, Distichs, latter 19th century
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"A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table." »Jean Kerr
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"Opinions alter, manners change, creeds rise and fall, but the moral laws are written on the table of eternity." »Lord Acton
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"There is no leveler like Christianity, but it levels by lifting all who receive it to the lofty table-land of a true character and of undying hope both for this world and the next." »Johathan Edwards
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"There are three whose life is no life: he who lives at another?s table; he whose wife domineers over him; and he who suffers bodily affliction." »The Talmud
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"There's no pressure in baseball. Pressure is when the doctor is getting ready to cut you, take your heart out, and put it on a table." »Charlie Manuel
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"Damn it, Pierre, what do you want me to do We'll go sit with empty chairs to get those guys back to the table. (To Pierre Trudeau, prime minister of Canada)" »Ronald Reagan
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"Home is the wallpaper above the bed, the family dinner table, the church bells in the morning, the bruised shins of the playground, the small fears that come with dusk, the streets and squares and monuments and shops that constitute one's first universe." »Henry Anatole Grunwald
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"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. I sat at a table where were rich food and wine in abundance, and obsequious attendance, but sincerity and truth were not; and I went away hungry from the inhospitable board." »Henry David Thoreau, "Walden," the Conclusion
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"You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet." »Franz Kafka
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| BTW, Why won't you become an editor? |
