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I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is two weeks.
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Totie Fields

Totie Fields (May 7, 1930 - August 2, 1978) was an American comedian who was not afraid to poke fun at her own weight problems

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"Totie Fields Quotes." Quotes.net. STANDS4 LLC, 2015. Web. 4 Sep. 2015. <http://www.quotes.net/quote/20173>.

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