Found 1,410 quotes starting with H:

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Here stand I. I can do no other. – Martin Luther
Here's a good gag if you go swimming in a swamp and when you come out you're all covered with leeches. Just say, 'Hey, has anybody seen my raisins' (Because leeches kind of look like big raisins.) – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Here's a good joke to do during an earthquake Straddle a big crack in the ground, and if it opens wider, go 'Whoa Whoa' and flail your arms around, like you're going to fall in. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Here's a good thing to do if you go to a party and you don't know anybody First, take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled-up napkin, and take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy garbage guy. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Here's a good tip for when you go to the beach A sand dollar may look like a nice cracker that someone left, but trust me, they don't taste like it. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Here's a rule I recommend Never practice two vices at once. – Tallulah Bankhead
Here's a suggestion for a new animal, if some new ones get created or evolve something that stings you, then laughs at you. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Here's something to think about How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery' – Jay Leno
Here's to you ,as good as you are, And here's to me, as bad as I am But as good as you are, and as bad as I am, I am as good as you are, as bad as I am. – Scottish Proverb
Here's what I think the truth is: We are all addicts of fossil fuels in a state of denial, about to face cold turkey. – Kurt Vonnegut, Cold Turkey
Hereafter, in a better world than this, I shall desire more love and knowledge of you. – William Shakespeare, "As You Like It", Act 1 scene 2
Hereafter, in a better world than this, I shall desire more love and knowledge of you. – William Shakespeare
Heredity is a strong factor, even in architecture. Necessity first mothered invention. Now invention has little ones of her own, and they look just like grandma. – E. B. White
Heroes are often the most ordinary of men. – Henry David Thoreau
Heroes who shed their blood and lost their lives! You are now lying in the soil of a friendly country. Therefore rest in peace. There is no difference between the Johnnies and Mehmets to us where they lie side by side here in this country of ours. You, the mothers, who sent their sons from far away countries wipe away your tears; your sons are now lying in our bosom and are in peace. After having lost their lives on this land they have become our sons as well. – M.K. Ataturk
Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is. – Will Rogers
Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them! – Albert Einstein
Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -how passionately I hate them – Albert Einstein
Hey Pilgrim, you forgot your pop-gun – John Wayne
Hey you! Look down. Your stupid is showing. – Ingrid Weir
Hey, what do you think drives all this grey matter up here Electricity. It's brain waves surfing on synaptic junctions. If your radio can go out because of sun spots, why can't your cerebellum It's all a matter of reception and it seems to me these signals are going to get crossed somehow. It's all logical. – Andrew Schneider
Hey…Pilgrim, You're Gonna Need A Couple Of Stitches – John Wayne
Hide not your talents, they for use were made. What's a sun-dial in the shade – Benjamin Franklin
Hierarchical institutions are like giant bulldozers-- obedient to the whim of any fool who takes the controls. – Edward Abbey
High expectations are the key to everything. – Sam Walton

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