Found 2,087 quotes starting with IF:

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If you don’t plant, you get nothing but weeds.
– Vikrant Parsai
If you don’t trust either the captain or the ship, there remains only one thing for safety: Trusting the storm!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
If you drink, don't drive. Don't even putt.
– Dean Martin
If you educate a man you educate a person, but if you educate a woman you educate a family.
– Ruby Manikan
If you end your training now — if you choose the quick and easy path as Vader did — you will become an agent of evil.
– Yoda
If you enter this world knowing you are loved and you leave this world knowing the same, then everything that happens in between can be dealt with.
– Michael Jackson
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what REALLY throws you into a panic.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever crawl inside an old hollow log and go to sleep, and while you're in there some guys come and seal up both ends and then put it on a truck and take it to another city, boy, I don't know what to tell you.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever discover that what you're seeing is a play within a play, just slow down, take a deep breath, and hold on for the ride of your life.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let 'em go, because, man, they're gone.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever feel like you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown, just follow these simple rules First, calm down second, come over and wash my car third, shine all my shoes. There, isn't that better
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever get a high official position in your country, you must see the interests of the humanity much more important than the interests of your own country; only then you will deserve to be called a great man!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be surprised.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is to blame it on Santa Claus.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever have to support a flagging conversation, introduce the topic of eating.
– James Henry Leigh Hunt
If you ever meet a higher being, do not worship it; only try to be its friend! Worship is primitiveness and no higher and developed being likes worshipping!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
If you ever play cards with your enemies, you must never expect them of having the joker.
– Vikrant Parsai
If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we BUILD to that.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you exist tomorrow as you do today, that is a miracle! It means that thousands of bad things which may happen did not happen and you are still alive! Existence is always a miracle in this universe of chaos!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
If you explore beneath shyness or party chit-chat, you can sometimes turn a dull exchange into an intriguing one. I've found this to be particularly true in the case of professors or intellectuals, who are full of fascinating information, but need encouragement before they'll divulge it.
– Joyce Carol Oates
If you fail to discover/fulfill your God-given destiny. Then, God will have no other option than to use you to fulfill someone else's destiny. And guess what? He (God) might do that at your own expense (at your own detriment). Therefore, having known that. Endeavour to discover and fulfill your God-given destiny by all means. For, you've got to do just that.
– Emeasoba George
If you fail to leave a child/children behind it doesn't matter. Yes! but if you fail to leave your footprints on the sands of time it matters. For, you ought to succeed in leaving your footprints behind for posterity. Besides that, the posterity ahead can't/won't remember or celebrate you for merely succeeding in leaving a child/children behind. Rather, they (the posterity) will only remember/celebrate you for succeeding in leaving your footprints behind. Thus, strive to leave nothing but your footprints.
– Emeasoba George
If you fear change, leave it here.
– Unknown, Sign on a restaurant tip jar

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