Found 2,070 quotes starting with IF:

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If you ever feel like you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown, just follow these simple rules First, calm down second, come over and wash my car third, shine all my shoes. There, isn't that better
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever get a high official position in your country, you must see the interests of the humanity much more important than the interests of your own country; only then you will deserve to be called a great man!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
If you ever go temporarily insane, don't shoot somebody, like a lot of people do. Instead, try to get some weeding done, because you'd really be surprised.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever have to steal money from your kid, and later on he discovers it's gone, I think a good thing to do is to blame it on Santa Claus.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever have to support a flagging conversation, introduce the topic of eating.
– James Henry Leigh Hunt
If you ever meet a higher being, do not worship it; only try to be its friend! Worship is primitiveness and no higher and developed being likes worshipping!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
If you ever play cards with your enemies, you must never expect them of having the joker.
– Vikrant Parsai
If you ever reach total enlightenment while you're drinking a beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you ever teach a yodeling class, probably the hardest thing is to keep the students from just trying to yodel right off. You see, we BUILD to that.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you exist tomorrow as you do today, that is a miracle! It means that thousands of bad things which may happen did not happen and you are still alive! Existence is always a miracle in this universe of chaos!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
If you explore beneath shyness or party chit-chat, you can sometimes turn a dull exchange into an intriguing one. I've found this to be particularly true in the case of professors or intellectuals, who are full of fascinating information, but need encouragement before they'll divulge it.
– Joyce Carol Oates
If you fail to discover/fulfill your God-given destiny. Then, God will have no other option than to use you to fulfill someone else's destiny. And guess what? He (God) might do that at your own expense (at your own detriment). Therefore, having known that. Endeavour to discover and fulfill your God-given destiny by all means. For, you've got to do just that.
– Emeasoba George
If you fail to leave a child/children behind it doesn't matter. Yes! but if you fail to leave your footprints on the sands of time it matters. For, you ought to succeed in leaving your footprints behind for posterity. Besides that, the posterity ahead can't/won't remember or celebrate you for merely succeeding in leaving a child/children behind. Rather, they (the posterity) will only remember/celebrate you for succeeding in leaving your footprints behind. Thus, strive to leave nothing but your footprints.
– Emeasoba George
If you fear change, leave it here.
– Unknown, Sign on a restaurant tip jar
If you fear making anyone mad, then you ultimately probe for the lowest common denominator of human achievement.
– James Earl Jimmy Carter, Jr.
If you fear nothing, you love nothing. If you love nothing, what joy can there be in life?
– Unknown
If you feel dirty, insignificant and unloved, then rats are a good role model. They exist without permission, they have no respect for the hierarchy of society, and they have sex fifty times a day.
– Banksy
If you feel stronger and good when the weather is sunny and weaker and bad when the weather is cloudy, then it means your willpower is not powerful yet!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
If you feel that you have both feet planted on level ground, then the university has failed you.
– Robert F. Goheen
If you feel yourself falling, let go and glide.
– Steffen Francisco
If you find a fork on your way when you are in need of a spoon, take it to give someone who is in need of a fork!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
If you find a good solution and become attached to it, the solution may become your next problem.
– Dr. Robert Anthony
If you find a reason for your happiness, you will never be happy.
– Vikrant Parsai
If you find breads and water in the desert, you are bound to find God somewhere too.
– Vikrant Parsai
If you find it in your heart to care for somebody else, you will have succeeded.
– Maya Angelou

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