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If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem, but the perpetual human predicament is that the answer soon poses its own problems. – Sydney Harris
If you're overwhelmed, lost, or like you life is out of control, do whatever you can that matters to someone else or ever did to you... it might not help, but it certainly won't hurt. – Ingrid Weir
If you're pretty happy, but you have a little Chihuahua that's always biting you on the ankles, still that's pretty good isn't it I'm going to go ahead and keep you in the 'happy' category. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you're robbing a bank, and your pants suddenly fall down, I think it's okay to laugh, and to let the hostages laugh too, because come on, life is funny. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you're traveling in a time machine, and you're eating corn on the cob, I don't think it's going to affect things one way or the other. But here's the point I'm trying to make Corn on the cob is good, isn't it. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you're trying to remember a happy memory, don't think back to a time when you were ALSO thinking of a happy memory, because man, how long does this go on – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If you're trying to take a roomful of people by surprise, it's a lot easier to hit your targets if you don't yell going through the door. – Lois McMaster Bujold
If you're ugly, then vail not your eyes, but your veil. – Volodymyr Knyr
If you've broken the eggs, you should make the omelette. – Sir Robert Anthony Eden
If you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow – John Wayne
If you've got to resist, you're chances of being hurt are less the more lethal your weapon. If that were my wife, would I want her to have a .38 Special in her hand Yeah. – Dr. Arthur Kellerman
If you've never been hated by your child, you've never been a parent. – Bette Davis
If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more and become more, you are a leader. – John Quincy Adams
If your cat falls out of a tree, go indoors to laugh. – Patricia Hitchcock
If your culture is not peaceful, throw it from your life! If your religion is not peaceful, throw it from your life! Anything which is not peaceful is worthless! Throw it from your life! – Mehmet Murat ildan
If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches. – Rainer Maria Rilke
If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not a poet enough to call forth its riches; for to the creator there is no poverty and no poor indifferent place. – Rainer Maria Rilke
If your daily life seems poor, do not blame it; blame yourself, tell yourself that you are not poet enough to call forth its riches. – Rainer Maria Rilke
If your dreams and destiny meet........ you haven't dreamed up to your potential – Siddharth Astir
If your foot slip, you may recover your balance, but if your tongue slip, you cannot recall your words. – Telugu
If your friend goes to a far place, that far place comes close to you! – Mehmet Murat ildan
If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it's okay to feed some bits of your friend to one of the vultures, to teach him to do some tricks. But ONLY if you're serious about adopting the vulture. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If your going to bow out, do it in style. – Nezbite
If your head is wax, don't walk in the sun. – Benjamin Franklin
If your house is on fire, warm yourself by it. – Danish proverb

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