Found 2,088 quotes starting with IF:

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If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer
– Steven Wright
If you shoot at mimes, should you use a silencer?
– Steven Wright
If you shoot for the stars and hit the moon, it's OK. But you've got to shoot for something. A lot of people don't even shoot.
– Robert Townsend
If you should die before me, ask if you could bring a friend.
– Stone Temple Pilots
If you should put even a little on a little and should do this often, soon this would become big.
– Hesiod
If you shout at home you will bark away from home.
– Vikrant Parsai
If you sincerely desire a _truly_ well-rounded education, you must study the extremists, the obscure and "nutty". You need the balance! Your poor brain is already being impregnated with middle-of-the-road crap, twenty-four hours a day, _no matter what_. Network TV, newspapers, radio, magazines at the supermarket... even if you never watch, read, listen, or leave your house, even if you are deaf and blind, the _telepathic pressure alone_ of the uncountable normals surrounding you will insure that you are automatically well- grounded in consensus reality.
– Rev. Ivan Stang - High Weirdness By Mail
If you sit by the river long enough, you will see the body of your enemy float by.
– Japanese Proverb, Also quoted in the movie Rising Sun
If you sit down and don't see a fish at the table, the fish is you.
– Ken Flaton
If you sit down at set of sun And count the acts that you have done, And counting find One self-denying deed, one word That eased the heart of him who heard One glance most kind That fell like sunshine where it went- Then you may count that day well spent.
– George Eliot
If you sleep under a tree, you can’t prevent the leaf from falling on you.
– Vikrant Parsai
If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it.
– Andy Rooney
If you speak the truth, have a foot in the stirrup.
– Turkish proverb
If you speak the truth, keep a foot in the stirrup.
– Turkish Proverb
If you spend too much time warming up, you'll miss the race. If you don't warm up at all, you may not finish the race.
– Grand Heidrich
If you stand straight Do not fear a crooked shadow.
– Chinese Proverb
If you start throwing hedgehogs under me, I shall throw a couple of porcupines under you.
– Nikita Khrushchev
If you stay here much longer, you'll all be slitty-eyed. (on a state visit to China)
– Prince Phillip
If you stay in Beverly Hills too long you become a Mercedes.
– Robert Redford
If you steal from one author, its plagiarism. If you steal from two, its research.
– Wilson Mizner
If you stop reading and learning, you will start repeating yourself; that's why, old people always repeat the same things!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
If you stop to be kind, you must swerve often from your path.
– Mary Webb
If you strive to become a really good leader, then you should know these Top Ten Differances between "Boss" and "Leader": 1. The boss drives people (nuts); while the leader coaches them. 2. The boss depends upon and survives on authority; the leader on good will. 3. The boss inspires fear; the leader inspires enthusiasm. 4 .The boss always says ‘I’; the leader says ‘we.’ 5. The boss says to subordinates ‘Get here on time’; the leader gets there ahead of time. 6. The boss fixes the blame for the breakdown; the leader fixes the breakdown. 7. The boss knows how it is done; the leader shows how it can be done in a better manner. 8. The boss makes work a drudgery; the leader makes work an enjoyable game. 9. The boss says ‘Go’; the leader says ‘Let’s go.’ 10. The boss justifies or lays blame – the leader takes responsibilit and accountability.
– Deodatta V. Shenai-Khatkhate
If you suffer, thank God It is a sure sign that you are alive.
– Elbert Hubbard
If you suffer, thank God! -- it is a sure sign that you are alive.
– Elbert Hubbard

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