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Whenever I need to get away,'' I just get away in my mind. I go to my imaginary spot, where the beach is perfect and the water is perfect and the weather is perfect. The only bad thing there are the flies. They're terrible
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Whenever I open a door, I pull on the doorknob real hard, because isn't there a saying that if it comes off in your hand, you can rear back and throw it as hard as you can I thought I heard that somewhere.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my first instinct is to laugh. But then I think, what if I was an ant, and she fell on me. Then it wouldn't seem quite so funny.
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Whenever I start getting sad about where I am in my life, I think about the last words of my favorite uncle A truck
– Child Age 15
Whenever I watch a documentary about the space, I find the news in the world very funny and dull!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
Whenever I'm caught between two evils, I take the one I've never tried.
– Mae West
Whenever is found what is called a paternal government, there is found state education. It has been discovered that the best way to ensure implicit obedience is to commence tyranny in the nursery.
– Benjamin Disraeli
Whenever it is in any way possible, every boy and girl should choose as his life work some occupation which he should like to do anyhow, even if he did not need the money.
– Blessing Irish
Whenever men take the law into their own hands, the loser is the law. And when the law loses, freedom languishes.
– Robert Francis Kennedy
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
– Oscar Wilde
Whenever people say 'we mustn't be sentimental,' you can take it they are about to do something cruel. And if they add, 'we must be realistic,' they mean they are going to make money out of it.
– Brigid Antonia Brophy
Whenever someone asks me to define love, I usually think for a minute, then I spin around and pin the guy's arm behind his back. NOW who's asking the questions
– Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
– Mark Twain
Whenever the people are well informed, they can be trusted with their own government that whenever things get so far wrong as to attract their notice, they may be relied on to set them to rights.
– Thomas Jefferson
Whenever there are in any country uncultivated lands and unemployed poor, it is clear that the laws of property have been so far extended as to violate natural right. The earth is given as a common stock for man to labor and live on. The small landowners are the most precious part of a state.
– Thomas Jefferson
Whenever there is a simple error that most laymen fall for, there is always a slightly more sophisticated version of the same problem that experts fall for.
– Amos Tversky
Whenever there is authority, there is a natural inclination to disobedience.
– Thomas Chandler Haliburton
Whenever we read the obscene stories, the voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and torturous executions, the unrelenting vindictiveness, with which more than half the bible is filled, it would seem more consistent that we called it the word of a demon than the Word of God. It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind.
– Thomas Paine, "The Age of Reason"
Whenever we read the obscene stories, voluptuous debaucheries, the cruel and tortous executions, the unrelenting vindictivenes, with which more than half the Bible is filled, it would be more consistant that we called it the word of a Demon than the word of God. It is a history of wickedness that has served to corrupt and brutalize mankind, and, for my part, I sincerly detest it as I detest everything that is cruel.
– Thomas Paine
Whenever we touch someone’s life, we leave a trace over there. Always leave good traces so that you can walk in the streets freely!
– Mehmet Murat ildan
Whenever we wake up from a horrible nightmare, we don't immediately scream out of happiness.It takes a while to feel so safe and so good.
– Mehmet Murat ildan
Whenever you are angry, be assured that it is not only a present evil, but that you have increased a habit.
– Epictetus
Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can' Then get busy and find out how to do it.
– Theodore Roosevelt
Whenever you are to do a thing, though it can never be known but to yourself, ask yourself how you would act were all the world looking at you and act accordingly.
– Thomas Jefferson
Whenever you argue with another wiser than yourself in order that others may admire your wisdom, they will discover your ignorance.
– Saadi

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