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I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other. – Jane Austen, Emma
I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he'd spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he'd yell out, 'Tadpoles Tadpoles is a winner' We all thought he was crazy. But then, we had some growing up to do. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I gave up on new poetry myself thirty years ago, when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens on a hostile world. – Russell Baker
I go walking, and the hills loom above me, range upon range, one against the other. I cannot tell where one begins and another leaves off. But when I talk with God, He lifts me up where I can see clearly where everything has a distinct contour. – Madam Chaiang Kai-shek
I know my fate. One day my name will be associated with the memory of something tremendous--a crisis without equal on earth, the most profound collision of conscience, a decision that was conjured up against everything that had been believed, demanded, hallowed so far. I am no man, I am dynamite. – Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche
I never add up. I only subtract from the total dying... . . . It is not the magnitude of our actions but the amount of love that is put into them that matters. – Mother Theresa
I put more miles on the soles of my shoes than I do on my car odometer, and that's just the way I like it. -Johnny The Walker – Johnny Wowk
I remember we were all horrified to see Grandpa up on the roof with his Superman cape on. 'Get down' yelled Uncle Lou. 'Don't move' screamed Grandma. But Grandpa wouldn't listen. He walked to the edge of the roof and stuck out his arms, like he was going to fly. I forget what happened after that. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I think a good gift for the president would be a chocolate revolver. And since he's so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him and hand it to him. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
I was brought up to believe that how I saw myself was more important than how others saw me. – Anwar el Sadat
I was thinking about picking up kayaking, but I didn't want anyone to think I had herpes. – Ingrid Weir
I'm fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in. – George McGovern
I'm working on my second million . . . I gave up on my first. – Tom Zegan
I've found that luck is quite predictable. If you want more luck, take more chances. Be more active. Show up more often. – Brian Tracy
I've resolved that I'll hang out with them as long as they make me smile... & then, I'll move on to the next when they stop... if one of them ends up lasting forever, then awesome... if not, just like goldfish, you can always get another one when they start to get ichy. – Ingrid Weir
I've seen too much hate to want to hate, myself, and every time I see it, I say to myself, hate is too great a burden to bear. Somehow we must be able to stand up against our most bitter opponents and say:”We shall match your capacity to inflict suffering by our capacity to endure suffering. We will meet your physical force with soul force. Do to us what you will and we will still love you.... But be assured that we'll wear you down by our capacity to suffer, and one day we will win our freedom. We will not only win freedom for ourselves; we will appeal to your heart and conscience that we will win you in the process, and our victory will be a double victory. – Martin Luther King Jr., A Christmas Sermon for Peace on Dec 24, 1967
If a man can walk, he should... at least away from the junk food store. -Johnny The Walker – Johnny Wowk
If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and they make fun of it, we should say we were just kidding, that this isn't really our civilization, but a gag we hoped they would like. Then we tell them to come back in twenty years to see our REAL civilization. After that, we start a crash program of coming up with an impressive new civilization. Either that, or just shoot down the aliens as they're waving good-bye. – Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
If it's meant to be it's up to me. – Terri Gulick
If she’s amazing, she won't be easy. If she’s easy, she won't be amazing. If she worths it, you won't give up. If you give up, you’re not worthy – Unknown
If we don't change direction soon, we'll end up where we're going. – Professor Irwin Corey
If you don't stand up for something, then you'll fall for anything. – God's Little Instruction Book
If you have love in your life it can make up for a great many things you lack. If you don't have it, no matter what else there is, it's not enough. – Ann Landers
If you leave home for a while ... you question the conventional wisdom you've grown up with. That doesn't mean you have to change your opinions or who you are, but it's good to ask the questions. – Molly Ringwald
In the mountain, stillness surges up to explore its own height In the lake, movement stands still to contemplate its own depth. – Rabindranath Tagore

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